Sorry for the long story but don't want to drip feed...
About a year ago I went LC with my Dsis as she had been making up lies about me and DH for years and I'd finally had enough when she accused my DH of hitting her (100% not true). She has become an incredibly bitter and resentful person, always complaining about her lot and comparing herself to other people (e.g. Person A has a better job than her, Person B is thinner/prettier/has more friends/Person C went to Mauritius last year etc. Etc.). She just always seems unhappy even though on the surface she has an amazing lifestyle - certainly better than mine - think nannies, swanky health club membership, flash car, cleaner, foreign holidays. She also has an amazing DH who puts up with a lot from her, despite having a stressful job he always gets home for bathtime, does stuff around the house etc. And still seems besotted with her.
She has always been competitive with me (really no need, I am very happy in my little terraced house with my old banger for a car, am not very materialistic) but a few years ago I had had two miscarriages and she started boasting about how she got pregnant straight away both times. I was really upset and ‎ we had an argument and she started shouting all this stuff at me that she says I did to her when we were younger. All either completely fabricated (eg that I tried to push her down the stairs!) ‎ or just completely the opposite of what actually happened (eg I spent a lot of lunchtimes with her at school as she didn't have many friends so I would include her with my group of friends, but she claims I never spoke to her at school and ignored her!).
Then she started telling other people in our family lies about me, eg mean things I supposedly said about her, that I told her I didn't ever want to see her again. They believed her and I got all sorts of family members approaching me to find out why I was being so mean to her and not believing me when I said it was all lies. They just said why would make all that up? Its really hurtful that they would believe her as while I have my faults I believe I am a really nice, friendly person and have absolutely no history of being mean to anyone!
So now I feel that she has poisoned many of my family relationships and also made people think badly of DH as she says he was physically threatening to her and then a year ago she said he hit her and gave her a massive bruise on her ribs. That was the final straw for me and I said that I was happy to see her on family occasions but I don't want to open me and DH up to more lies so I don't want to see her without extended family around. I am worried that this is only going to escalate - what if she accused DH of sexual assault or something? I wouldn't put it past her.
But my problem now is that I am seen as being "the bad guy" and refusing to make up with her. And I get all sorts of grief from family about being stubborn and unforgiving etc. My parents do know what she's like to some extent and don't believe the big lies she's come up with eg about DH hitting her but they do seem to have believed all the little lies and manipulative ways she has of making me out to be horrible to her. And because she's always been a difficult and prickly person, people seem to bend over backwards for her so as not to upset her, so she gets away with murder. I don't understand it.
It's so frustrating because now I am paranoid whenever I'm with family about what they've been told about me and what they think about me and DH. And I hate being seen as unforgiving as over the years I think I've probably put up with more than I should without making a stand.
I really feel like I need to protect DH and me from more damaging lies but am feeling massive pressure just to pretend it never happened and go on as usual. So am I right to stay LC even though the stress of it is probably the same as not being LC?!‎ I'm at a loss as to what I should do...
I'm also really confused as to why she would feel the need to make up all these lies about me. Is it MH issues? Personality? I don't know...
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Relationships
Gone LC but massive family pressure to reconcile
8 replies
pineappletongue · 23/06/2016 14:00
OP posts:
Arfarfanarf ·
23/06/2016 15:15
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