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Should I tell them, and if so what?

(6 Posts)
Scarlettablue Wed 22-Jun-16 13:15:01

At the weekend I discovered something that indicated my partner of four years has been cheating. I won't go into how I found out but I challenged him and his response convinced me I was right. I was obviously devastated and left his flat straightaway (fortunately we don't live together and have no children). I then contacted him to ask him to remove my stuff, which he did, but is refusing to talk to me to tell me what happened or to help me get closure of any kind. This is fair enough - it's his choice and I imagine he is suffering more than I am - he has form for this and I think he realises he has stuffed up big time.

The thing is, over the years we were together, I have made some important connections with his grown up children and friends. We had two holidays planned with his friends, some of whom have become quite important to me. Do you think it's okay for me to contact them and let them know we've ended? I won't tell them why - that's for him to do. I don't want to humiliate him. The thing is, I suspect he's burying his head in the sand and will be reluctant to let them know himself. Or should I just let well alone and move on? Many thanks for any responses.

cbigs Wed 22-Jun-16 13:32:50

Absolutely if they're your friends now too you have a relationship with them separate to him.
Sorry op sounds rubbish sadflowers

allthemoomins Wed 22-Jun-16 13:34:28

Tell them - and don't feel shy about the truth either, you owe him nothing

TheNaze73 Wed 22-Jun-16 13:36:00

I wouldn't, blood is thicker than water

adora1 Wed 22-Jun-16 14:02:18

I wouldn't either, just move on, it's his family and friends.

Scarlettablue Wed 22-Jun-16 14:50:02

Thanks all for you advice and support. I think I need to wait for the dust to settle and think some more about it.l

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