Hey everyone, hope it's ok to join in here. I posted a thread earlier today, but really, I think this is the place I need to be.
As the title says, my marriage isn't awful, it's just doesn't satisfy me. Together 10 years, married 5 with an almost 3 year old son.
Our sex life is non-existant and has been for years. It was never anything great to begin with actually, but now it's a distant memory. I told him I wanted to separate before Christmas last year and we now have separate bedrooms but continue to live together, although he is supposed to be moving out as soon as he can find somewhere suitable.
He is a good man. He has never done anything that could be considered romotely abusive towards me. He is kind, supportive and a wonderful father. I just don't feel any attraction towards him. I'm not sure if I ever did actually. That's an awful thing to admit, but I need to start being honest with myself.
Last week he told me that he does not want us to split up. He wants to work harder at making it work. I couldn't feel more crap about myself and what I'm putting him through if I tried. I really hate this.
But what is the alternative? Another 30/40 years with a man who, while I love like a friend/brother, I have grown apart from? A man that I have very little in common with and that I can't ever see myself fancying again. I really wish I could. I wish I could press a button and want him the way a wife should want her husband.
Anyway, sorry to drone on in my first post. I'm just so glad I've found you all and I feel for each and every one of you. As I said in my other thread, I've had my heart stomped on and broken before, but I'd choose to be the dumpee over the dumper any day of the week. I feel awful for making him feel so sad. It's horrible.