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You all said LTB and I did it! Having a bad day though ☹️

(32 Posts)
Glutenforpunishmentnomore Tue 21-Jun-16 21:05:08

Hi, I don't really know why I am posting I suppose I'm just looking for reassurance that I haven't made a mistake. I have posted under a few different usernames but to cut a long story short I have finally left an abusive marriage, he wasn't really physically abusive apart from squeezing keys in my hand and pushing me but he was emotionally abusive and subtly controlling, The trouble is I miss him. It's my birthday tomorrow and I feel really lonely.

WalrusGumboot Tue 21-Jun-16 21:08:38

Happy birthday for tomorrow! Sounds like you've given yourself the best present. Have you got plans?

Morasssassafras Tue 21-Jun-16 21:11:20

Do you know I've had more than one da worker tell me that barring life changing injuries that its the emotional/mental abuse that takes more time to heal.

You've done the right thing. There will be days when it feels really hard but now you can start to heal.

Get professional domestic abuse service help if you haven't already. It will help. And take one day/hour at a time. It does get easier.

Happy birthday for tomorrow. Make sure you do some nice things, with friends if possible.

Glutenforpunishmentnomore Tue 21-Jun-16 21:13:24

Thanks 😃 The stupid thing is I work in the field myself so should know exactly what to do but it's so much harder when it's you!

Glutenforpunishmentnomore Tue 21-Jun-16 21:14:35

Not sure about plans yet, hoping to go out for dinner with friends but I don't seem to have many that are not his friends too and first.

BrownSmilingEyes Tue 21-Jun-16 21:16:55

I hope you have a lovely birthday. It's a hard situation to come out of. Remember it can only get better.

WalrusGumboot Tue 21-Jun-16 21:17:31

Doesn't matter who was friends with them first. Be with people you find genuine.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 21-Jun-16 21:19:09

Next year's birthday will be brilliant. You will have had the time to make a whole bunch of lovely new friends.

Buzzardbird Tue 21-Jun-16 21:22:28

Happy Birthday for tomorrow. Be kind to yourself, it's about time.

Your gift is your peace of mind. flowers

MrsMargoLeadbetter Tue 21-Jun-16 21:24:10

Well done Gluten. You have done an amazing thing.

It must be difficult, but try to remember why you left.

Can you do something you want to do tomorrow? Even if alone?

Glutenforpunishmentnomore Tue 21-Jun-16 21:53:32

Thanks everyone, I have arranged a night out with a couple of friends. I have my two littlest DC tomorrow as its my day off so will go somewhere with them. Dh came over earlier to put DC to bed, I'm trying to be amicable, he left a crappy card in the fireplace a to Mum card which he knows I will hate as I'm still mummy not mum, no present at all! In a way it makes it easier as it just reminds me how much he doesn't give a shit

EnoughAlready999 Tue 21-Jun-16 22:08:20

Do you miss him or just miss having someone there?

Well done for leaving, I hope to be you one day. My partner came home tonight and got all angry that I hadn't done much - I went to DD's sports day and when we got home felt quite rough with an all over tummy ache (23 weeks pg too) bit all he could say was "you've always got a good excuse" & then added "well, an excuse". Arsehole.

Have a lovely day tomorrow xx

LeastOriginalUsername Tue 21-Jun-16 22:19:50

Well done for taking that step Gluten. I felt a bit wobbly when christmas holidays loomed a couple of weeks after I had ltb, but six months on, I know the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. Be kind to yourself, and have a lovely birthday flowers

SandyY2K Tue 21-Jun-16 22:30:30

Happy birthday for tomorrow. flowersflowers

You deserve not to be pushed and have keys squeezed in your hands.

No decent man or husband does that.

seventhgonickname Tue 21-Jun-16 22:54:35

Have a good birthday,you know you did the right thing.I find I felt more lonely when I was with OH when I think about it.Have nice day being a mummy too.xx

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Wed 22-Jun-16 01:09:42

Happy birthday! Have something lovely for tea, and wear your favourite outfit (and makeup if that's your thing) to remind yourself how great you are.

I don't have great advice, but you will always be better in a non-abusive situation.

SomeonesRealName Wed 22-Jun-16 05:22:41

Happy birthday!! cakeflowerswinechocolate

It gets better - honestly. You've done an amazing thing for yourself getting out of a situation where you weren't being treated right. You should be really really proud of yourself.

sofato5miles Wed 22-Jun-16 05:35:10

Download some empowering songs.

Think how special someone needs to be to deserve you and he certainly does not any more space in your life than is crucial.

You DESERVE someone who will be good to you (we all do) and any other loser (especially exH) is simply not worth your bother.

RiceCrispieTreats Wed 22-Jun-16 07:16:00

Happy birthday!

You only left very recently, didn't you? Of course you feel low! It's been a huge life change, and will take a while to adjust to. Some of the lingering hope, affection and rawness is still there.

It's hard but it will get better.

Surround yourself with people you love today.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Wed 22-Jun-16 07:21:35

Happy birthday OP flowers

Hope you have a lovely evening with your friends.

Emeralda Wed 22-Jun-16 07:32:34

Happy birthday! cake Ditch the card if you don't like it. Start putting together a mental picture of what you'd like next year's birthday to be like.

Marquand Wed 22-Jun-16 10:49:47

Happy birthday!

Things will get better.

LillyMom Wed 22-Jun-16 10:57:45

Heeeeeei happy happy birthday 🎂!
I guess it is always hard in the beginning. I am sure you will be better soon. Nobody should be in an abusive relationship. Congratulations twice.

SomeonesRealName Sun 26-Jun-16 21:35:01

How are you doing Gluten?

Glutenforpunishmentnomore Wed 29-Jun-16 20:16:14

Hi someone, sorry I haven't been back,l recently. I had a lovely birthday with friends, made the mistake of falling for his shit at the weekend about how he wants to work things out with counselling, but he showed his true colours again so I'm ok I suppose! I have a new tenancy agreement in my sole name 🙂 So that's positive, I have told him today that he can't just turn up to see the kids when he wants, he twisted that and is telling everyone that will listen that I'm stopping him seeing the kids!
Had a horrid invasive hospital appointment today just to top things off!
I have just spent an hour getting the kids to sleep so I'm rewarding myself with wine!

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