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Slept together on date number 2 - don't know what I'm doing!

(12 Posts)
heybabes Mon 20-Jun-16 15:27:52

Had a very bad break up about 6 weeks ago after a 5 year EA relationship, which I have written about on here. Wasn't looking for anything else for a while, but was starting to feel good about myself again after being torn down by someone who is a massive twat!

Anyway, last Friday I met a guy at a party. I really wasn't looking for anything but he was very good looking and seemed to be only showing me any interest. My friends knew him and said he was a huge player & a gazillion girls fancied him, so I really wasn't bothered, but after speaking to him we got on really well so I gave him my number.

We didn't text much but he asked me for a date the following Wednesday so I agreed without any expectation. I almost didn't go because I really wasn't bothered, I didn't dress up or put much make up on or anything but I thought hey, it might be nice to meet someone new and it's just a drink after work and he is very nice to look at!

We actually had a really great date - I got quite drunk but we had great chemistry and shared a few kisses. He surprised me with how clever and nice he was, not to mention completely gorgeous! We held hands and he told me he couldn't wait to see me again. He asked if this weekend was too soon, and I said no, it's fine so we arranged to meet on Saturday.

In between, I barely had any contact. He would be online on Whatsapp, but then not read or reply to my messages for hours. I assumed he had lost interest and that we weren't going to meet, but he then on the day he asked if I still wanted to meet later.

We had such a great time on Saturday - a date he chose which was very romantic and we had good banter and heavy flirting. Unfortunately we drank a lot of wine again and I missed my last train home! I phoned a few friends who lived nearby to stay at theirs, but this was about 2am so no one was answering...

I ended up staying at his. Having missed er, physical company, I ended up sleeping with him. I didn't feel pressured, just a body over mind moment (plus lots of wine) and it was pretty damn good.

He was fine in the morning. I expected him to kick me out but he didn't, he was loving and affectionate in the morning. We had a long lie in together and when I had to leave, he got the train with me to where I was going to drop me off and had his arm round me the whole time, was nuzzling my hair and kissing me.

We text a little bit yesterday, with him initiating questions etc. But now he's back to the 5 hour no replies, etc. I can't remember if we said we'd meet up again, I think he did ask for next weekend but I'm going away so couldn't.

Have I mucked this up? How do I play this? I was with my ex for over 5 years and we started dating when I was 18, so I have no idea what to do. I don't really want to ask him to meet up, I feel like as he is a 'player' and doesn't text much, I should leave the ball in his court. I'm not expecting a relationship - it is probably too soon - but I wouldn't mind hanging out more. Is this normal? I just have no idea! Please help!

margewiththebluehair Mon 20-Jun-16 15:36:59

Keep your expectations very low. Don't think this will progress. Don't do anything. Don't chase him. If he does ask you out - make sure you are not out until late (thus repeating what happened last time).

He is probably called a player because he is in love with falling in love and will act luvvy duvvy for a short while then he will quickly get bored and move on.

If it is meant to be, it will happen.

KittensandKnitting Mon 20-Jun-16 15:39:11

Pretty much what marge said

Look at it as a fun fling that has got you back in the "game" so to speak, enjoy it for what it is/was

Keep dating other people smile

TrippyMcTrapFace Mon 20-Jun-16 15:43:56

"loving" ? after a second date? confused
Your friends told you he's a "huge" player. Why do you want to get involved with a player?

Minime85 Mon 20-Jun-16 16:20:00

I would just wait and see if you hear from him again over next couple of days. If not I'd send a casual message just saying did he want to catch up again on name a day and see what he says

HandyWoman Mon 20-Jun-16 16:29:47

He's probably nuzzling and loving and affectionate with all his booty calls. Your friends have warned you...

Your question 'have I mucked this up' rather suggests you care about what happens here. Which suggests, only nanoseconds after a 5 year EA relationship, the only person you should be dating is yourself.

Your best bet would be to leave it there, I think. Treat it as a nice ego boost. No more Whatsapp messages.

GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd Mon 20-Jun-16 16:35:40

Meh things like this happen.

Just don't build yourself up for the fall. It was fun and a bit out of the norm. Great! But just leave him to it, if he messages back fab if not you had a nice shag with a good looking man and move on.

Not much left to do now, sit back relax that was one in the back of the net for the home team 😂

category12 Mon 20-Jun-16 18:49:26

You're six weeks out of a bad relationship. You really don't need to be chasing after some other chap.

DownstairsMixUp Mon 20-Jun-16 18:53:09

Honestly don't have any expectations. I slept with my now husband on the first date BUT there was never any of this keeping waiting for five hours stuff, everyone knew where they stood which is a massive difference.

IthinkIamsinking Mon 20-Jun-16 18:54:57

Agree with PP..... if will happen if its meant to be. I slept with my now husband on our first date..... if someone is keen it shouldn't matter. That said, do you really want to launch into another r'ship so soon? Perfectly ok to have fun but it sounds like you want more from this bloke even though you have down played it in your post.

HandyWoman Mon 20-Jun-16 18:55:49

If you had no expectations you wouldn't give a shiny sh*t how long it took him to reply nor would you be stalking his Whatsapp!!

heybabes Tue 21-Jun-16 19:12:55

Didn't mean for it to sound so soppy! Was feeling hungover and tired and feeling sorry for myself when I posted. I'm actually not too bothered, he's nice I had a good time, that's it really. Thanks everyone anyway.

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