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What would you do?

(8 Posts)
Greenyogagirl Mon 20-Jun-16 09:49:45

I have this friend, he's my best friend and I love him to bits. We've been friends for over 6 years. He originally wanted more but I'd had a terrible break-up and wasn't ready for anything more.
He says he's in love with me, he's not had a girlfriend in all the time he's known me because he wants me.
I love him to bits but I don't have that sexual chemistry or spark at all.
I'm losing him as he can't carry on loving me knowing I don't feel the same and hopes a break will help him get over me.
Do I give it a go and hope the chemistry comes?
Do I let him go to hopefully meet someone else and not be friends?
Do I try to hold onto a friendship knowing he's not happy and clinging onto hope that I'll change my mind?


BristolPistol Mon 20-Jun-16 09:54:10

Aw that sounds tough babe, but you can't force chemistry.

If he's still in love with you after all this time, it might be easier to end the friendship. Even if it hurts it will give him room to move on. xx

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 20-Jun-16 09:55:41

If there's really no chemistry after all this time let him go. 'Giving it a try' will probably just end in more pain for him. I thought I didn't have that spark or attraction for my husband when we were friends before we got together - I was totally kidding myself. Always flirted with him etc. If you don't have that, it's purely platonic, then I can't see why it would change.

TheNaze73 Mon 20-Jun-16 10:37:22

I agree with the other posters, you can't force a spark. I would need to be interested or fancy someone to get involved.
The fact that you're 6 years down the line with him & there's still nothing there, speaks volumes

PotatoBread Mon 20-Jun-16 10:39:42

Let him go. Chemistry and a spark is either there or it's not, you can't force it or magically create it.

HarmlessChap Mon 20-Jun-16 10:47:25

Poor bloke, 6 years of being besotted and hoping you'd eventually find him sexually attractive!!

Sounds like he won't face facts himself and that maintaining the friendship simply continues his hopes. His happiness is not your responsibility but he needs to understand that its not going to happen.

Have you had boyfriends during this time, if so how does he cope with that?

Greenyogagirl Mon 20-Jun-16 10:53:15

Thanks all X
I have had boyfriends, he sort of gets upset but is still friends with me, I told him at the very beginning and every few months when he brings it up I tell him there's no spark. Obviously I put it gently to start but I have made it clear it's just not happening for me.
He just won't accept it

roarfeckingroar Mon 20-Jun-16 10:56:39

Been there. It was awful. We don't speak anymore, he ended up bitter and angry. You can't force chemistry but you can be kind.

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