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Trying to do the right thing

(3 Posts)
Whoaminow1 Sat 18-Jun-16 21:48:48

Hi I'm looking for some wise advice for a tricky situation

Post divorce I have at last found a gem of a boyfriend. He appeared from nowhere and is a true blessing. Very kind , thoughtful, funny, intelligent. He truly makes me happy and my kids love him. I find him very attractive and really think we have long term potential.... Here's the problem.... Impotance

Not something I've dealt with before. I'm pretty chilled , work in health and I'm pretty good at listening. However I do like sex and I am demonstrative!. He is vey demonstrative to, always hugging and kissing.... However it starts we'll, then ends badly( if you know what I mean ). He says it has happened before in previous relationships. He has a demanding stressful job, but is otherwise a healthy 60 year old. I've told him it's ok, no problem.... You can't really say anything else can you or it makes the problem worse for him! I have to be honest that it doesn't feel right at the beginning of a relationship...I enjoy a healthy sex drive..... But I don't want to let him go as he is a true gem. Not a situation I thought I'd find myself in.... I know sex doesn't last forever.....but

merville Sat 18-Jun-16 23:10:03

Have only dealt with impotence once in a short relationship with a man in his 60's when I was younger .... I have no idea if he had already tried viagra or a similar med. and it hadn't worked ... the relationship broke down after a couple of months for various reasons.
I did feel undesirable, and uncomfortable about the dysfunctional/'abnormal' sex.

Has your partner consulted with medical pro's about it, has he tried any medication? Is it something you can speak to him about comfortably?

One point I would make it that (obviously I can only speak for myself), I don't climax from pen. sex (apparently most women don't) and so if someone was willing and skilled at oral or manual ... I wonder if that would be enough; given that sex is only one part of a relationship and that the person is so great in general. There might still be that .. weirdness/frustration that you can't have pen sex if you wanted to (sustained anyway) but is that so important? Could you perhaps use a toy alone or together if he's ok with it ... just some thoughts.

princessmi12 Sun 19-Jun-16 10:11:59

Somehow it makes me think he's too aware of his erectile problem and over compensates in personality traits and everything else on purpose because he knows if he's not extra nice who'd be with him?
Sorry OP it is what it is. He's not a spring chicken and it's unlikely to get better due to his age .

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