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Sister in law causing more problems

(5 Posts)
Leah4 Wed 02-Jun-04 15:04:59

My dh has always been close to his older sister, but recently, he has not talked about her or visited her, over the past five months, which is not the norm for him. I did ask him a couple of months ago, he had any problems with her, and he said no, quite dismissively, and did not wish to talk about it.

I have not had a good relationship with her since dd was born as she was very interferring in our relationship and on how we did things, to the point that dh was and I had many arguements about it. It caused a lot of stress and problems, and I am worried that she has upset dh again by saying something about our relationship. She has been very controlling and has behaved like a spoilt child on many occaisions. I will not go into detail with some of the cruel things she has said and done, which has also caused problems with my mil.

I really do not want to visit her unless he tells me whether they have had a disagreement about me. This has happened last year summer and dh kept it to himself, and I later found out.

There are not many other things which dh could upset her about other than me. Should I ask him or not say anything until we have to visit her? I don't want to visit her if there will be a lot of tension, and also want to know if she has any further problems with me so we can sort it out, as it gets so tedious. Especially when you think it is all getting a bit better! Any thoughts on this welcome.

tammybear Wed 02-Jun-04 17:32:18

The only thing I can think of is to ask dh again about it. Dont try to force him to tell you whats happening. If sil has something against you, then it is probably best you dont get into contact with her. Really your sil should be happy for you and dh to be happy together, and not be interferring. HTH

Leah4 Mon 07-Jun-04 21:57:58

Hi tammybear - thanks for your advice. Have not been on pc as been doing lots of decorating in the evenings. I have not yet mentioned it to dh, as he has been working late, and has been tired when he arrives home. Will mention it soon before he goes away on work trip, so I can stop thinking about it really. Knowing dh, he probably will not tell what it is to do with and even if it is to do with me, in order to not talk about it. Little I can do and she is really not worth the headache!

Ticklemonster2 Wed 28-Sep-11 11:31:07

Hi there - you have/are going through what I have with my sil. We too had huge problems with her after our son was born. Like you, she caused problems and stress and many arguments. We only now see her about every six weeks. We have drawn very strong boundaries with in laws since they breached our trust etc a year ago.
Your hunch is probably right and your dh sister is creating waves again. Clearly he wants little contact with her as a result. I would find a good time to ask him if there is an issue. If so, as a couple you need to set limits with her to keep your family strong. Good luck x

familyscapegoat Wed 28-Sep-11 11:43:36

This thread is over 7 years old!

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