My throat has been tight all day and I feel light headed with thoughts swirling uncontrollably around my mind. Please help.
I started therapy this week re my childhood (occasional violence by stepdad with daily emotional abuse, unprotected by mother) and my complicated feelings about my mum as a result. Aside from the abuse, which is hard enough to swallow, I can't figure my mum out- she has never been there for me or taken responsibility as a mum (men always come first) but then at other times she can be super nice and texting me every day asking how I am. It's a real headfuck for me and very upsetting. I find being around her often v stressful. My therapist is starting EMDR with me and everything is so raw at the moment. I don't want to cause a big ruckus by snubbing my mum but I don't want to do the whole let's have a jolly day out thing either.
I feel like I'm in a total state coping with it and I'm meant to be seeing her all day tomorrow. Help please.
I feel suffocated by these feelings. All three parental figures in my life have screwed me up, messed with my head and left me in a state. I wish I could fly away and just be free, allow myself to be me without their judgement and criticism.
Please talk to me, I feel like I'm
Going mad.
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Having trouble breathing over seeing my mum
9 replies
MarvinGorilla · 17/06/2016 14:13
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