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He has too much precum

(30 Posts)
TooFatToShop Thu 16-Jun-16 11:39:44

Can't post in the sex forum for some reason, so I have no choice but to copy and paste this here. TMI warning.

I love giving oral sex, at least I did until I met my current partner. He is constantly oozing precum and thus giving him a blowjob is very hard work and makes me gag. With other men in the past, I've only had to swallow once and could brace myself for it, job done. But with this man, I'm constantly having to swallow this salty substance and tbh I find it really offputting. I've given him a total of one blow job and he's been urging me to repeat it ever since. I literally don't have the inclination. Finally, after being nagged about it for so long I told him the truth - that his constant precum is too much. He said receiving oral sex is more important to him than actual sex (!) and that none of his exes ever complained about it.

Where do we go from here? Any advice?

Thunderwing Thu 16-Jun-16 11:44:30

Had he gone without for a while before your first go? Just wondering if it could be a one-off and he's not usually so 'leaky'

Flossiesmummy Thu 16-Jun-16 12:06:30

Could you have a drink to hand to refresh every so often - if you had a warm one and an iced one you could make the different sensations part of the fun.

Alternatively, could you use a dick lick in a flavour that you like to mask the taste. I particularly like the cherry one.

TheNaze73 Thu 16-Jun-16 12:39:53

I'm with thunder Don't know you're exact circumstances but, it does sounds like a build up. Think he may need to take the matter in his own hands to help you out. Or it could be far more fun & beneficial to you both if you shared that

Offred Thu 16-Jun-16 12:50:14

Just dump... Seriously. A man who thinks it is ok to nag you about sex is a complete dick, a man who emotionally blackmails you when you tell him you don't like a particular sexual act is an abusive twat.

TooFatToShop Thu 16-Jun-16 12:51:39

What's dick lick?

Offred do you reckon it was emotional blackmail? How so?

luckiestgirl Thu 16-Jun-16 12:54:53

You feel nagged into performing a sex act? Not good, OP.

Offred Thu 16-Jun-16 12:56:26

He said receiving oral sex is more important to him than actual sex (!) and that none of his exes ever complained about it.

Classic emotional blackmail.

The appropriate response would have been, 'oh god I'm so sorry if I made you feel pressured we won't do it anymore'

He basically said 'I expect it and you are weirdo for not doing it'

VioletVaccine Thu 16-Jun-16 12:57:55

He said receiving oral sex is more important to him than actual sex(!)

shockangry that's great for him, what about you? Now DH loves a BlowJob as much as any other man does, but if he thought that me sucking his cock was more important than us having sex, I genuinely wouldn't be with him.

Precum issue aside, he sounds like an selfish prick.

Cabrinha Thu 16-Jun-16 13:03:08

My boyfriend has a certain amount of precum. It's not a build up - just how his body is. It tastes different - actually it's more palatable 😂

Obviously it's a given that you shouldn't do anything that you don't want.

But if you want to find a way to continue with oral sex, I suggest that you mix and match your mouth and your hand. And even PIV too - if you're using condoms so there's no interruption. We switch between these just naturally, not deliberately. But you could try swapping hand for mouth, and giving it a wipe as you go!

The other thing that comes across in your post is that you don't like to swallow. Again I want to emphasise that you don't HAVE to do anything.
But is this more attitude than anything? Because if you can get past that you can swallow as you go... Is there anything he can do to help you feel more relaxed?

Cabrinha Thu 16-Jun-16 13:16:43

It all depends on how and why It is said.
My boyfriend and I both prefer other things to "actual" PIV sex. We like that too - and on a given occasion might want than most. But overall - he prefers a blow job. I like giving them too. He's the least selfish sexual partner I've had.

I'm more confused at him saying it's not been a problem before.
Yeah, it could be emotional blackmail and that's a dumping offence.

But from my boyfriend that could be a comment, "oh? This hasn't been an issue, hmmmm, what shall we do?" I'd even forgive him for being a bit defensive... I might feel a bit embarrassed if he commented on a lot of lubrication from me.

adora1 Thu 16-Jun-16 13:24:46

He sounds awful, nice that he is considering you!

DianaMitford Thu 16-Jun-16 13:27:45

Spit on his cock for extra lube to dilute it and then take a break every now and then to rub it in with your hands.

TheNaze73 Thu 16-Jun-16 13:40:22

Cabrinha is right about PIV & also context of what the OP's BF said. Certainly, PIV is not the be all as far as I'm concerned.

Flossiesmummy Thu 16-Jun-16 18:10:03

Dick lick is like lube but thinner in consistency and flavoured. Ann Summers and other similar shops sell it.

LaBelleOtero Thu 16-Jun-16 18:10:04

He can't help what his body does any more than you can, but by the same token, you shouldn't do something you don't enjoy.

Would he compromise and use condoms?

lissage Thu 16-Jun-16 20:56:50

Is this the same guy who's recently calling you a murderer and is controlling?

rightknockered Thu 16-Jun-16 21:51:03

Does he return the favour OP?

Cabrinha Thu 16-Jun-16 21:52:28

Hmmmm. Well that last comment had me searching.
He's an arsehole.
3 months in and he calls you a murderer for having an abortion, is controlling with (your words) "red flags" and says his friends would think you a slut.

why the fucking hell are you remotely considering ever speaking to him again let alone giving him oral sex?

You're a mother. You should stop seeing this arsehole for your kids' sake if you don't value yourself enough to step away for your own sake.

There is no reason EVER EVER EVER to suck the cock of a man who calls you a murderer and a slut.,

TooFatToShop Fri 17-Jun-16 14:41:31

if he thought that me sucking his cock was more important than us having sex, I genuinely wouldn't be with him.

Hmmm I did think it was a bit off, but couldn't articulate. Can you elaborate on why YOU feel this way, please?

him saying it's not been a problem before

Yes, most unusual.

btw I thought it was against MN etiquette to cross-post about other threads?

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Fri 17-Jun-16 15:25:43

"He said receiving oral sex is more important to him than actual sex (!) and that none of his exes ever complained about it"

Anyone who said no-one else had complained ie that it's my issue/I'm the odd one for not liking something would be on borrowed time. Strike 1. I don't give a flying fuck if noone else minded, I'm saying I do! For what it's worth I hate too much precum too and it really puts me off, so you're not alone. I don't even let men come in my mouth because it makes me heave.

Anyway, how to deal with the issue. You have the following options...
1. get rid of him (I don't like his attitude personally)
2. don't give BJs (I bet he will moan about that)
3. put a condom on him before giving him oral (I bet he won't like that option either)

ihatethecold Fri 17-Jun-16 15:39:36

Op, Come on , past threads or not this man doesn't have respect for you or your feelings, get rid.
Life is too short to be with an arse.

lissage Fri 17-Jun-16 15:46:18

" I thought it was against MN etiquette to cross-post about other threads?"

As far as I'm aware it's not written into MN Talk Guidelines.
However it is generally considered bad form by some posters in some circumstances.
You have a user name that is memorable to me, I've seen some of your other posts and I wondered if it's the same guy. If it is, it seems to me you have a biggger problem with this man than his volume of precum.

Report my post and ask for it to be deleted if it's against Talk Guidelines.

Vagabond Fri 17-Jun-16 15:48:08

Leaky asshole. I'd bin.

ImperialBlether Fri 17-Jun-16 16:17:49

I think it's important to read other threads. I wouldn't contradict someone if on one thread they said they had a daughter and on another they said they had a son, because it's right we should try to hide some details so we're not identified, but at the same time the thread you posted the other day shows your boyfriend in a very disturbing light. Do you have a problem with boundaries? If he acted like that with someone who had healthy boundaries he'd be told where to go in no uncertain terms.

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