Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

work colleagues

(9 Posts)
user1464511171 Wed 15-Jun-16 09:18:23

So, recently I have done a lot of work with a particular (male) colleague. I have really enjoyed working with him and being in his company and often find myself thinking of an excuse to speak to him/ email him. Is this wrong? I am happily married and don't view the work colleague in a sexual way. However, recently we have exchanged the odd text message and talked about more personal things. He is married with a child and I know neither of us would ever cheat, but is it wrong to enjoy his company so much?

TheNaze73 Wed 15-Jun-16 11:17:56

Yes.

BossyOfficerFlossie Wed 15-Jun-16 11:30:51

Yes. Unless you would be totally happy if both your OH and this chap's wife to read every word and hear every conversation... My OH had a crap time at work last year, they all had redundancy dangles over their heads. He got very friendly with one lady, chat at first, got a bit flirty, ended up arranging a weekend away at a conference... Didn't go through with it but had booked a room etc... Suffice to stay he is presently in his Mum's spare room and we meet weekly at a Relate session... All started as chat about films they liked, as a distraction from work, slid into talking about how they would like to watch certain films together, maybe with a beer, once he had had a beer apparently he might want to hold her hand... And nose dived from there. So if just mates and all above board then great, but any hint that it turns into something you need to hide from your OH and you need to pull the plug.

wherearemymarbles Wed 15-Jun-16 11:48:37

Depends if you can keep sex out it. Its perfectly possible to extremley close friends where there is no sexual chemistry. Only you know how you really feel.

RivieraKid Wed 15-Jun-16 11:51:31

Friendship is fine, but if you're going out of your way to speak to or email him, especially now topics have become more personal, it sounds like you might be dipping into EA territory.

user1464511171 Wed 15-Jun-16 17:52:40

Thanks, definitely no sexually feelings. Being naive but what is EA? I wouldn't worry too much about other people reading what has been said, but it is nice to talk things through with someone else and I would like to think that conversations we have remain confidential.

adora1 Wed 15-Jun-16 17:56:19

That's exactly how affairs start OP, friends to start and then bang, lust ensues, sorry but I think you are behaving badly, and him.

EA= emotional affair.

AddToBasket Wed 15-Jun-16 18:01:31

If you can back off a wee bit, it will be so much better. Force yourself not to send the extra email/no texts/no 'can I get you a coffee'. What you have now is a good relationship and if you enjoy it then don't rock it by allowing yourself to want more.

And you do want more, that's why you are texting and why you are posting here. Maybe you don't want sex, but you do want more of him.

user1464511171 Wed 15-Jun-16 19:10:18

Point taken, although I am now thinking maybe I just read too much into it. How would I know if it became an EA? I bet he has never thought anything of it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now