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I got dumped

(26 Posts)
Devastatedflower Wed 15-Jun-16 03:19:41

I need some hand holding please.

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he left me today saying that I'm not up to his standard in sex. He said he was hoping I learn the skill over the time but he now realised we're sexually incompatible and he can't be with me any longer because we like different things in sex. We had perfect relationships otherwise. I'm totally devastated.

Plastictree Wed 15-Jun-16 03:57:14

He's a wanker. Cheeky sod.

Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp Wed 15-Jun-16 04:17:07

4 months isn't long to call it perfect!
You've had a lucky escape and I think he's done you a favour.

goddessofsmallthings Wed 15-Jun-16 04:24:39

Not up to his standard? What scores do you give him for technical merit and artistic impression, flower?

It's the tortoise and the hare. You'll be getting into your stride when he's a jaded wreck. smile

IthinkIamsinking Wed 15-Jun-16 05:12:53

While I think sexual compatibility is important in a r'ship, that was a shitty thing to say to anyone re: not up to his 'standard'.

A r'ship SHOULD be perfect after only 4 months.

Loulou0 Wed 15-Jun-16 05:50:56

He said he was hoping I learn the skill over the time

He sounds like a patronising, egotistical twat.
It's hard to be dumped , you'll feel like shit for a while but it'll get better and maybe you'll look back and be glad you only wasted 4 months on him. flowers

Mymakeup72 Wed 15-Jun-16 06:42:27

Don't take it to heart. He probably watches too much porn!

Sexual incompatibity with one person could be fireworks with another!

He was cruel to say that but it has showed his true colours early.

Tearsoffrustration Wed 15-Jun-16 06:57:06

Sounds like a selfish prick to me!

I notice you don't say he was the best you ever had either wink

I agree he's done you a favour

TheNaze73 Wed 15-Jun-16 07:02:35

He sounds like a tool.

He sounds far from perfect, I think you've dodged a bullet there.

category12 Wed 15-Jun-16 07:10:56

Nasty fecker. You're well rid.

LumpySpacedPrincess Wed 15-Jun-16 07:12:16

Sounds like he wanted to hurt you as well as dump you, you've dodged a bullet there.

OurBlanche Wed 15-Jun-16 09:29:33

That does sound like he set out ot be as nasty as possible. Bloody hell!

At my age I am grumpy enough to plaster that over facebook with a response like: I was hoping you would learn to be a nice human being, to have some manners, be less selfish. Sadly, it seems we were both disappointed.

But I know that isn't really going to be possible, it's just ne of those smirk inducing thoughts.

But you will find some revenge fantasy of your own to help you get over that "perfect" relationship only you though the two of you shared!

PixieMiss Wed 15-Jun-16 09:36:08

You may not see it today, or even tomorrow, but in time you will see that you have had a massively lucky escape.

Take it easy today brew and cake

HooseRice Wed 15-Jun-16 09:39:19

Lucky escape there.

scousesal Wed 15-Jun-16 09:45:45

He did you a favour op he sounds awful .Now your free to find someone who deserves you.

longdays Wed 15-Jun-16 10:03:50

That's unbelievably rude.
How old is he?

You will look back on this and laugh at him.

contrary13 Wed 15-Jun-16 10:14:36

I'll say to you what I said to my DD when she was dumped after 4 months, last October (by a total, red-flag-waving bastage of a "man")...


... you deserve better. MUCH better.

You really do, OP. My DD's now found a young man who adores her, who (seems to) treat her well, and "properly", whose entire face lights up whenever he sets eyes on her. They've only been together for a couple of months, so I'm not holding my breath... but my goodness, the difference between the previous boyfriend (there was a rebound between... who was a cross between the two!) and him? Miles wide.

You'll meet someone worth your time, OP. Someone who treats you with decency, kindness and respect. Who loves you for you - not for what you can do for him!!!


StartledByHisFurryShorts Wed 15-Jun-16 22:22:10

What a horrible thing to say. Forget the twat. Move on.

UpYerGansey Wed 15-Jun-16 23:24:08

An utter and complete twat.
Great that you found out sooner rather than later.
wine and cake for you tonight, shake your feathers and fly onwards and upwards tomorrow!!

Greenandmighty Wed 15-Jun-16 23:25:28

What a self-centered prune he sounds! You don't need that. You'll find a man who loves you and who you share a compatibility with in all areas. Sorry for your pain though. I hate the word 'dumped' - once you've dusted yourself down, you'll realise he's released you so you can find the love of your life. 🌸

AyeAmarok Wed 15-Jun-16 23:34:14

I don't really believe people are different "standards" in sex.

You either click or you don't. Someone who is amazing with one person won't be good for somebody else. It's about the chemistry between two people.

He sounds like a twat. One who's talking crap to be intentionally cruel. Not a nice person. And probably too much porn, yes.

Onwards and upwards!

FructoseTart Wed 15-Jun-16 23:40:48

I was dumped when I was younger (14) by my then BF (he was 15) because I wouldn't sleep with him! (I was raped younger and didn't feel comfortable at all in having sex for a long time) We had been together for 9 months. It broke my heart at the time, but I see him around now and think I got a lucky escape! He can't look me in the face now either grin

LellyMcKelly Thu 16-Jun-16 01:37:32

Just tell him he wasn't that great in the sack and bye bye!

Isetan Thu 16-Jun-16 06:40:37

There isn't an alternative universe where this guy wasn't an arsehole and the only reason you describe your relationship as perfect, is because you were ignorant of your bf being an arsehole.

Give yourself time to grieve for the man you thought he was and soon you'll realise that he did you a massive favour because still being with this arsehole, is way more depressing then not being with him.

monkeychop Fri 17-Jun-16 22:12:53

What a twat! Maybe if he had been more attentive in bed he may have seen more reap what you sow.

Tell him you find it difficult to get excited and feel sexy when his penis is so small.

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