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I am done

(12 Posts)
canyou Mon 13-Jun-16 22:49:14

I have had enough. I love DP, I love DSC, I love our foster children and DD but enough I can no longer cope with eveyone elses needs. I am tired.
I had a bad crash 2 weeks ago, alone in the car was moved by ambulance to hosp yet no one had time to come check I was ok or collect me. No one would lend DP cash for a cab or bus as I had all the bank cards which were in the car. I went straight back to work 48 hrs after the crash, am dealing with insurance for a written off car, an allergic reaction to the meds. Not one family member had called to the house or rung me. No offers of any help. The house is in shit it really is a tip, the bathroom has not been cleaned nor a bed changed since the accident I physically cannot manage it. DP has been signed off work with depression from the fright of me being in an accident hmm and his GP actually rang me to say leave him rest no stressangry
I am sick with pain, stressed off my head and now because DP is off sick the reality that I cannot afford a new car has hit. His being out sick means he has no pay so once again it is all on me. I need to leave I love him but I need to gosad
I am sorry I need to say it here I need to get it into my head. I want to walk away and leave the DSC and foster children but I cannot really leave as in reality they only have me.
I am sorry I guess I am making no sense. I will try to get a GP appt asap.

Funko Mon 13-Jun-16 23:03:04

You poor thing flowers
I have nothing useful, you must be feeling dreadfully low. Is there no one you can call for support? Do people realise how bad things are or thought it was a minor bump?
If you are known as the 'coper' who never asks for help (like me) people tend to leave you alone and not offer ...

Big hugs (probably un mumsnetty but there you go)

Cheapthrills Mon 13-Jun-16 23:07:04

Tell social services straight away. They are already involved if you are fostering and they need to know if the children are at risk of having no adult to care for them. If you need time to recover they could support you temporarily until you get back on your feet.

canyou Mon 13-Jun-16 23:17:20

No not a minor bump and they know yes I cope so that is the problem
Re the DC we are establishing contact with their Dad they spend a few nights with is a few with him. Both SW contact and Dad are at the Euros. Honestly I will not walk away from them in reality that would be wrong on so many levels.
Just even writing it down has helped, DSC are adults at Uni so I think no to them staying for a few weeks as they use DP as a disney Dad and do not lift a finger. I am selling a something right now and will use the funds for a cleaner one deep clean will put me right.
I have a Dp problem but in my current mind set I will not rush a decision.
Thank you

ImperialBlether Tue 14-Jun-16 00:07:37

Blimey, you have an accident and go back to work but your partner is so upset by it that he goes off on unpaid sick leave? Yes you do need to leave him!

Will you continue to foster when you're in your own home? Whose name is on the mortgage or rentbook now?

ImperialBlether Tue 14-Jun-16 00:08:51

Could it be that your relatives are reluctant to help you when you're with your partner as he's not helping you? Might they be more use if you were alone?

SandyY2K Tue 14-Jun-16 00:41:26

Sorry about the accident.

I'm just wondering why your DP being a grown adult doesn't have cards of his own.

You have the accident and he he gets stressed! Does he usually have coping problems? He doesn't sound very supportive or he's just a fragile kind of man.

KindDogsTail Tue 14-Jun-16 01:01:17

What a terrible time you have had flowers
You have had a terrible shock from the accident and now all this stress.

What good idea to get the cleaner.

Please have a rest soon and go to sleep.Take things step by step and only do what you have to.

LellyMcKelly Tue 14-Jun-16 04:32:23

You can't be disgnosed with depression from shock following an incident that took place only two weeks ago, surely? And are you sure it was a doctor who called to tell you to leave him alone, and not his best mate on the phone? It sounds to me like he's conning you either for attention or to get out of taking responsibility for anything. What does he do all day?

Namechanger65 Tue 14-Jun-16 08:44:39

Something here doesn't make sense, signed off with depression due to your accident? I'm not saying the accident wasn't bad, but you were not in intensive care or close to death, some accidents can be life threatening. In those circumstances I could understand severe shock, but really depression for what happened doesn't ring true. Also, for the doctor to ring and say leave him alone, that's not really a viable option if you have a household to run and surely the doctor would be risking you becoming unwell!

canyou Tue 14-Jun-16 09:05:45

Thanks for replying I was writting here so as I can get a clear picture in my head but left out most of the picture iykwim. I was using it to ger a clear picture as I feel I have no one in real life right now to be objective
Ok I had all the cards as I was dealing with a banking problem that day. It was a one off he usually has his own card. I was pissed off as I have habded iver money to both familys before for less, a fiver would have got him to me for the cards and home.
DP has a diagnosis of PTSD he was in the med on the Navy ships so is actually unwell. His Dr did ring me I know his Dr who has DPs full permission to keep me informed, We are not in the UK and this level of communication is not unusual it is more a case that the gp feels the fright was a tipping point for DP. Hence the he is shocked and depressed. I am not to keen on his GP as he has never reffered him on just hands out pills hmm But I willl be fine
The accident was bad not a little tip. I was hit on a motor way by a car doing over 150 km, I was removed unconcious by ambulance and spent 3 days in hosp. But yes I was lucky just broken wrist, nose and ribs everything else is just bruising and sore.
I have realised that this is my tipping point, it is now going to be about me and the dc, we have a home, my house and we have love and we have fun so all will be good.
Now to sort a car I can drive ☺

canyou Tue 14-Jun-16 09:06:59

And Thank you for reading and giving me a support brewbiscuit

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