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Mentally ill mother and child contact

(2 Posts)
Antonia87 Mon 13-Jun-16 18:41:41

Hi, I was wondering if you would give me your perspectives on this situation. I am in the early stages of pregnancy but I am considering the kind of contact I will allow my mother to have with DC when its born. Its very difficult as my mother suffers from Bipolar 1 disorder . She will well for periods of up to eighteen months and then suffers psychotic episodes which last for six months at a time. This has been going on since I was a child. She is lovely when she is well but really abusive when she is not. She has also made false allegations in the past when she has been sick. These include accusing my father of sexually abusing his niece and of raping my mother. These accusations were completely false as my father was actually out of the country when she made the rape allegation and he had never even been alone with his niece. She has apologised profusely for this but as a result I wont give her my address. Now I am concerned that if we let her have contact with her GC she might make false allegations against my husband which would destroy us. However, when she is well we are very close so its a real dilemma and she is great with kids when she is well. I would appreciate your thoughts on how we could safeguard our child but possibly allow contact? Thank you

Merd Mon 13-Jun-16 19:40:22

Personally? I wouldn't allow any unsupervised contact. I'd be tempted not to have much supervised contact either. If you don't even dare give her your address, why would you expose the most precious thing in your life to her like that?

If you must meet up, I'd keep it limited to set activities in public places and the moment there's nonsense, restrict it further. Your child and husband come first, and your job is to protect your child now, not her.

On that note, if your husband is likely to be the one she targets, how does he feel about it?

Do you feel able to talk to her about it yourself? If she's been sincerely apologetic than maybe it's a very different situation from the one I can identify with (a mum who's nice sometimes but abusive mostly and has never apologised), so I might be way off base with the above.

Hopefully someone who understands the condition and situation can offer some good advice. flowers

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