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Relationships

Friend's new girlfriend badmouthing his daughter

25 replies

user1465812166 · 13/06/2016 11:32

Some friends of ours split up a couple of years ago after many years together. It was a fairly amicable split as these things go, and we have all remained friends. Their daughter is our goddaughter and we love them all very much.

Over the weekend we met the male friend 's new partner for the first time. I'd seen her on Facebook and thought she rather overdid the lovey doveyness, but hey, first flush of love and all that, prepared to make allowances. I didn't know that much about her after all.

Our friend is in his late 40s. His new girlfriend is 22 years younger than him. They've been together 8 months, she moved in with him after a week. Very vague as to what she did before, but is now newly self employed as a counsellor and angel therapist/medium. She is also writing a "bestselling book" that she plans to self publish. She came out with such a stream of self opinionated bs that I could scarcely bear to be in the same room as her. Oh, and she's "gluten free coeliac and vegan" who eats biscuits and has milk in her coffee. Go figure.

Our friend is quite well off, runs his own business, and is showing all the signs of "no fool like an old fool." That's his look out. However, his girlfriend announced they're moving to be near her family, 250 miles from his daughter. She also said that daughter would not be allowed in "her" new house as she had disrespected her and called her a bitch. She said she was scared of the daughter and had decided that daughter would not see her and Bf when they move. Friend just sat there while she slagged his daughter off. I was horrified.

Should I let our goddaughter's mother know what has been said? I don't want to cause trouble, but this woman seems to be plotting to keep him from his daughter (who it sounds like may have the measure of the girlfriend). Our goddaughter is 17 so not a child, but not an adult either.

I really want to give her a chance, but there are so many red flags here, I feel really confused. Any advice? At work now so can't reply, so thanks in advance.

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RiceCrispieTreats · 13/06/2016 11:47

Nobody can keep this man from seeing his own daughter. Place the responsibility for whatever happens with your friend, not the girlfriend. He is choosing to move. He will determine how often he contacts his daughter.

The new girlfriend can't "make" him do anything that he isn't willing to go along with in the first place.

If you want to tell your goddaughter's mother what was said, why not, in terms of reporting fact: eg. "I gather that girlfriend and goddaughter don't get along, in fact yesterday at dinner girlfriend said that goddaughter wouldn't be welcome in their new home". But you can't frame it as a "plot" by this young woman to separate your friend from his daughter, because again, your male friend is perfectly capable of making his own choices.