Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Help me get perspective - I'm going crazy

(15 Posts)
Stircrazy13 Mon 13-Jun-16 09:41:58

The guy I'm dating is currently on a three week holiday travelling. He's returning on Saturday and flew to his last destination last Saturday.

Up until now I had heard from him every day - at least one message or phone call. However since he's arrived at this place, nothing! My messages haven't been delivered so he obviously has no internet but the hotel does have wifi.

He called Saturday morning before he flew and made plans to see me Saturday PM (he lands early in the morning).

But it's an organised holiday based on an activity he loves. He follows lots of people connected to the activity on social media; a couple of them are gorgeous looking girls who will be at the location.

I am aware I sound like a teenager (and I feel like one!) but I can't stop worrying. I was looking forward to Saturday and I've convinced myself he is going to fall in love with them and I'll never see him again. Can someone please help me get some perspective on this?

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 13-Jun-16 10:04:39

Hotel wifi is probably down! It can't be the 'other women' theory as he would at least have told you he arrived before he got distracted by the other guests.

RedMapleLeaf Mon 13-Jun-16 10:20:17

Ok, this is what I'd ask myself, "what if he does fall in love with one of them and I never see him again?".

loobyloo1234 Mon 13-Jun-16 10:27:00

Your messages haven't been delivered? I'd be worried if they had, and he was ignoring you. I think you're over-reacting ... if it's an activity based holiday, maybe he's just been busy. Try not to read too much into it. Hope he gets in touch soon though smile

Slowdecrease Mon 13-Jun-16 11:33:22

So If he falls in love with another woman and you never see him again , well, you'll cope. It could happen any day any where at any time. As scary as it is, the fear or losing something precious can really effect your experience of having something precious, so try your best to let go of the fear and worry of losing him and concentrate on looking forward to seeing him next week (and don't be an arse when he gets home, he will be shattered)

Stircrazy13 Mon 13-Jun-16 11:45:54

I know there is a rational part of me that says we are only dating; if he sleeps with someone else I'll never know and it doesn't mean he won't see me when he comes back. And I am only getting all this from social media stalking...

LilacInn Mon 13-Jun-16 11:50:43

You might ask yourself why you are letting someone else's activities control your life so much. Sounds like you are spending a lot of time and energy tracking him online instead of getting out there and leading your own life. Why?

That's not affection, friendship or live. It's obsession. Would you think we'll of someone if you found out they were monitoring you in this fashion?

ImperialBlether Mon 13-Jun-16 11:52:50

He's probably just lost his phone.

How long have you been going out with him?

Slowdecrease Mon 13-Jun-16 11:55:35

Oh yes and definitely stop online stalking - that way madness lies

HandyWoman Mon 13-Jun-16 12:57:56

The fact that he called you before he flew is significant I'd say. To me it depends on how long you've known him.

Internet stalking - always leads to angst...

AyeAmarok Mon 13-Jun-16 13:02:43

And if he meets someone else and falls madly in love with them - your life will go on and you'll meet someone else. It's no big deal, you're only dating.

Come on now, give your head a wobble. You're acting like a desperate stalker looney and that's really not attractive. Rein it in!

TheNaze73 Mon 13-Jun-16 13:21:49

Get a grip op. You sound irrational

Costaflyby11 Mon 13-Jun-16 13:55:20

Stircrazy13 everyone is entitled to 'irrational' behaviour, and I think venting your slightly 'stalkerish' side (which I think everyone can have in certain circumstance) somewhere like here is therapeutic and shouldn't be met with distain!

Try to occupy yourself with something else, and remember how easy it is when you're the one off busy having fun for hours or days to go by without texting someone, as opposed to being the one say at home in ordinary life fretting and checking your phone every few minutes!

You're worry is totally understandable but not necessarily warranted!

category12 Mon 13-Jun-16 14:09:21

Don't worry - I would be if the messages were delivered and read but unanswered, but as it is - he is enjoying his holiday and considered your goodbye and arrangements to meet once he's back ample. Don't fret. Fill your time with fun and friends until he is back.

Stircrazy13 Mon 13-Jun-16 16:32:52

I know I'm being irrational - but that doesn't make it any easier! I've been left for someone else quite a few times so I guess a part of me is always expecting it - not sure how this can be overcome.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now