Have been with DH 22 years. Only had one partner before. 10 years ago DH had an affair. It was hideous. We worked hard and got passed it but, in the meantime, he passed on herpes. He's never considered it serious as his STD nurse says "everyone has it". Well I didn't before he cheated. I was very poorly the first time, have had mild recurrences but have it again like a beast. It's horrid. Am trying to get on with things but I really can't walk or behave normally. Have mentioned to him that I think it's herpes (what with the enormous blisters and crippling pain) and he's just "well go to bed then". I don't want to scream at him that if he hadn't done what he did then I wouldn't be feeling like this. I thought I'd got past the cheating but am feeling like its the gift that keeps on fucking giving. Sorry for rant. Feeling miserable. Want to scream at him but realise that will reverse time and undo everything we've achieved. Have no idea why I'm posting apart from I need to vent a bit
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Oh god, you poor thing. That sounds really horrid and a nasty reminder of what happened. I don't think your DH should be casual about it, even if it wasn't herpes and wasn't his fault he should be more caring about the whole thing. I think that attitude would piss me off more than anything. I didn't realise herpes was so nasty actually. I know it is very commonplace unfortunately. Are you particularly stressed atm? Just wondering if there's a reason it's flared up. Take care of yourself 
His std nurse should be struck off if she said that ! Of course not everyone has it and it is bloody serious! It's very debilitating. Have you ever seen someone about it yourself?
I doubt his STD nurse said that. I bet she said something like 'it's common' etc.
Sorry OP
Have you had treatment? Does he suffer with it much?
Well it's not serious and lots of people do have it but that doesn't make it less unpleasant! Or the fact that he passed it to you through cheating less horrendous 
yuk. That's hard to get over.
Poor you that must be a horrible reminder of what happened and brings back all the anger and emotions. Some sympathy from him wouldn't go a miss seeing as he caused it in the first place.
I too get herpes and it's really not nice. Have you seen a doc? You can get anti viral meds that will calm it down.
You need to say something, he should at last be offering if you need anything etc. He's acting completely unfair. It's not your bloody fault the reminder of his actions has come up again.
I'm sorry OP, this exact thing has happened to a couple of women I know and it is truly horrendous. To hear he isn't even sympathetic is just awful. I hope you get on top of it and feel better soon. I'd really have to be taking a long hard look at the whole relationship if this is symptomatic of his attitude and behaviour towards his failings and to you.
Just get a frying pan, whack him in the Crown Jewels, and if he complains, tell him to go to bed.
Op
I know people are sometimes too quick with LTB here. BUT. In your shoes I would have left, maybe not originally (I might have forgiven) but certainly after the first recurrence and the realisation that I was stuck with this for the rest of my life because of his lack of faithfulness to me. I couldn't cope with it. Being dismissive of a recurrence would completely get my goat, he should, frankly, be grovelling to you and pulling out all the stops. Flowers, gifts, tea and toast etc etc
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