Tbf I don't think she likes me that much either. There's a lot of history here so I'll try to keep it concise.
DH is a wonderful man. We've been together 9 years and he is Dad to my young teens from previous relationships (he has PR for them) and we have a four year old. He works full time in a professional role on a highish wage. I don't work due to ill health. He starts and finishes early so he can do the afternoon school run. We have never argued and are very loving towards each other.
My mother is constantly coming out with 'digs' about him. She has sneered in the past about him working 'part time' (comparing him to my BILs). The other day she asked how much he earned and I told her a ballpark figure and she made a face and said it was obscene. When I mentioned he was going for a promotion she scoffed and said it was very unlike him. She seems to have him pegged as lazy and a bit ineffectual. Even when he does overtime she feigns surprise that he's bothering as he's so 'lazy'.
He does at least 50% of the housework and childcare. But my mother is constantly comparing him (us, actually) to my youngest sister and her DH. They have two under three and she works pt, he works in a manual low paid job. They go on holiday about four times a year and my mother always says to me, oh they deserve their holidays, they both work so hard. We haven't had a holiday for two years.
She has said before that DH doesn't have much 'gumption', whatever that means. We always seem to come up short against my sister and her DH.
She has lent substantial amounts of money to both my sisters to buy property. My youngest sister hasn't paid the first loan back and has now been given a further loan to move house. When we were looking to move I tentatively broached the idea of a loan and got snapped at that 'the bank of mum and dad is closed'. We've never borrowed money from them. When I asked her a few weeks ago why this was she just said I didn't need their help, I have DH. A loan would have meant a much better mortgage deal for us, but whatever, we did it on our own.
She never seems to want to celebrate our successes. She seems to look down on DH but I can't understand why. He is friendly, had a great sense of humour, would do anything for anybody.
The awful thing is that without me telling him anything about the digs she makes, DH has now noticed that she doesn't seem to like him very much. We have a family event to go to soon and he really doesn't want to go, but will to support me.
What, if anything, can we do about this? It's breaking my heart.
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Relationships
My mother doesn't seem to like my DH.
TheseLittleEarthquakes · 12/06/2016 17:29
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