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teenage friendships what would you do?

(10 Posts)
Stargazey44 Sun 12-Jun-16 13:53:46

DD aged 12, has good friend in same class, go to school together every day. Its so called good friends birthday party today,. We accepted invite a couple of weeks ago and DD really looking forward to it. Out of the blue she gets text from good friend last night to say they are fully booked for the party and sorry, she can't come. DD v upset naturally. I email the mother under the guise of asking if we could share lifts, to which she replies v happy to give dd a lift back. All seems fine. Everyone relieved. Then at noon today dd gets another text from good friend to say again they are fully booked and she can't come. I call the mother to ask if there is a problem, as good friend keeps texting to say its fully booked. She assures me everything fine. DD now no idea what to do, feels v unwelcome but still wants to go. What would you do? Its an hours journey to the venue. Help! I feel angry and don't want her to go but don't want to impose my feelings on her.

HappyJanuary Sun 12-Jun-16 14:42:15

I think the friend doesn't want your dd there, but her mum has better manners.

If she wants to go, and has thought that through properly, then I would take her.

Pick up another friend so that she's got someone to walk in with, and then stick around yourself so that you can get a feel for the situation and offer an escape route should that become necessary.

Casually mention the texts to the mother again, she needs to speak to her daughter about kindness and manners.

WillIEverBeASizeTen Sun 12-Jun-16 14:48:19

You might be better posting this on 'Teenagers' thread in 'being a parent' topic OP, lots of stuff like this on theresad

monkeywithacowface Sun 12-Jun-16 14:52:41

I would bring it up with mum, it's not very nice behaviour

Sassypants82 Sun 12-Jun-16 14:53:09

What did the friends mother day with regards to her daughter's texts to your Dd?

nellynoodles Sun 12-Jun-16 14:54:23

Sounds like your DDs friend is a nasty little bitch tbh!!! Girls can be so awful - if her mother is saying there is no problem then the girl is being sneaky and mean.

lljkk Sun 12-Jun-16 14:56:41

I would support my Dd in what she wanted to do. That includes talking thru scenarios of how things might happen after she arrives so that she can prepare for them. Can you stay close by in case your DD needs to storm out?

happypoobum Sun 12-Jun-16 15:45:48

I don't understand - what did the mum say about her daughters texts saying your DD couldn't come?

Stargazey44 Sun 12-Jun-16 17:12:51

Thanks to you all for your advice! In the end I took her there and on the way we discussed plans for the various scenarios that could occur. I hung around until most kids had arrived to gauge how their first meeting went. The good friend greeted everyone else first while my dd hung back, but then they smiled at each other and a few moments later dd gave me the signal that it was OK for me to leave, by which time another good friend had arrived. After that I stayed in the general area for about half an hour in case she called, as agreed, but she didn't. Unfortunately there was no opportunity to talk to the mum privately. Fingers crossed that the afternoon goes well... Poor thing, she was so upset, as it had come totally out of the blue - I'm hoping she'll decide to keep a little distance from this 'friend' from now on. Thanks again everyone!

chocshortbread Sun 12-Jun-16 18:27:25

I hope she gets on okay. You sound like a nice mum flowers

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