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Friendships: is anyone else just not bothered

(4 Posts)
AmiesArmy Sun 12-Jun-16 11:39:50

I work for an international company and have moved around a lot for work. I have a collection of 'Facebook friends' in different countries but we mainly communicate for networking or birthdays / big events only. A couple of years ago i was relocated back to the UK for a while, in a city where i knew no one. I have lots of colleagues that i get on well with, but no close friends. At the moment I'm trying to keep an out of work friendship alive that i really should let die because we have different values in life.

I'm an introvert and happy with my own space, and to do things on my own so I've stopped making an effort to get to know people. I also don't have a DP. My life seems to be easier and have much less stress if i'm not having to negotiate interactions with other people. However, all the things i read about happiness / depression /longevity say that humans need social support. So I'm kind of worried that i'm turning into a weird / dysfunctional / anti-social person. Is there anyone who can relate to this?

daisychain01 Sun 12-Jun-16 11:47:01

In one way, Amie's, I agree it's you, that a lot of friendships (often the basis of a multitude of threads on MN) seem to be more trouble than they are wort.

The only thing I would say is that becoming self sufficient - and to an extent isolated - has a flipside.

When the shit hits the fan in life (job loss, illness, bereavement) A good solid friendship is a massive lifeline. Of course friends who suddenly disappear can be equally upsetting, but in my experience, people are very often genuinely supportive and empathetic when called upon (but not put upon!) to give help or advice.

So I would say, take some time to cultivate and invest in relationships as they can be a lifeline, and none of us is an Island.

daisychain01 Sun 12-Jun-16 11:47:19


DorindaJ Sun 12-Jun-16 12:05:12

I am similar to you OP. I would say, only have friends if you actually want them, not as an insurance against calamity...

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