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Feeling confused

(7 Posts)
millmoo Thu 09-Jun-16 18:27:42

1st time poster long time lurker .
So I got back in contact with an ex
Spent lots of time chatting on messenger back and forth every few days .
He had just come out of a long-ish relationship (he ended it )
So we met up for a drink and the evening went well -messages the next day to say had a great time would definitely like to do it again.
Arrange to see each other the following week -meet up again -have another great night and he comes back to mine .
Didn't have sex but had a kiss.
He was a bit drunk and was talking about how he was emotionally retarded .
So I messaged him the next day and said its been great to see you but I'm not quite sure where this is going .
He comes back with a long message saying its me not you but I'm not sure I want anything
I don't even think we can be friends
So I message him back and say ok -that's a shame I enjoyed his company and to take care
I just feel completely 😕 he initiated contact and initiated going for a drink
Had a great time in each other's company and then he sends the it's me not you message .
I just feel like why did he bother ? Why bother going for drinks messaging and carrying it on (I've been talking to him for 4 months ) and then send that message ?
Do you think he was just playing a game ??

Myusernameismyusername Thu 09-Jun-16 18:35:39

It sounds like he is kind of not really over the end of the other relationship and perhaps thought he was, and reconnected with you but the spark isn't there, or he's not really ready?

You don't say why it ended before either. Some things aren't really fixable if they didn't work the first time it's not often they work again unless there are very strong feelings and new relationships can take a lot of work. I think he's at least been semi honest... But he never sounded all that keen it's taken you four months to meet up? That's quite a long time

Myusernameismyusername Thu 09-Jun-16 18:36:55

I think he's said we can't be friends because he knows you want more than he does.

millmoo Thu 09-Jun-16 18:58:16

I ended it years ago as I was too young .
He's a bit older than me and it was just too much too young .
We didn't meet up for ages as I was unsure at 1st
He kept suggesting it and I was like sure il come back to you with a time etc but at 1st I never did .. Then I thought why not ? We've obviously still got a spark as when we were talking to each other in the messages we were having a great laugh .
So we met and then I get the it's not you its me message but if he wasn't interested in the 1st place then why keep asking to meet ?

SoleBizzz Thu 09-Jun-16 19:07:37

Because he has had time to meet with you and that's his conclusion.

Myusernameismyusername Thu 09-Jun-16 19:13:57

When he met you that's just how he felt, it wasn't what he wanted

Myusernameismyusername Thu 09-Jun-16 19:15:11

You can't really know how interested you are before you meet up with someone face to face. I wouldn't know until I did

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