Back story: My partner and I had been in a relationship for a year when I found out I was pregnant. He lives in his childhood home with his parents, I rent a house. This never bothered us because he worked away 4 days a week so we would spend time together at my house when he wasn't working. He was concerned about our housing situation with a baby so I told him that he could move into my house, but he didn't want to as it would mean him quitting his job
He decorated a bedroom in his parents house with the intention of me leaving my home and moving in with them. I explained to him that I didn't want to give up my privacy to live with his parents (who I don't really get along with anyway). We agreed that we would find a new house to rent together in another area so that he could keep his job. This would mean me quitting my job which pays considerably more than his job does. It's my income that would pay rent, bills, etc.
Fast forward to now, we have a beautiful baby. While he was on paternity leave, we spent time between our two houses and we weren't apart for more than a few hours.
Since he's been back at work, I have been at my home, raising our child, paying rent, paying bills, etc, mostly on my own. My partner is still living with his parents and has been staying here a couple of nights a week. His job has changed and he is now only earning approx. £600 per month. This situation makes it impossible for us to rent a house in an area that he wants to live in, as I wouldn't have a job and £600 per month is just not enough for a house.
I tried to explain this to him and, again, invited him to live in my house. He refused again and said that I was being stubborn and unwilling to compromise. He won't understand that living in my house is the only way for us to be together as a family. He genuinely thinks that it's me being stubborn.
2 weeks ago, I decided that I'd had enough of my daughter having a part-time dad and me having a pop-up partner, so I told him he either lives with us properly, or stays with his parents and his job but loses us. He was very upset and said that he wants to be with us, just not living in my house. I feel like all I have done is go around in circles with him about this and I just feel so drained. I ended things with him, even though I love him. Now I've got his mum offering to kick him out, my family telling me that I deserve better, him still trying to convince me that we should try to find a house together (impossible) and I'm really struggling to know what I'm meant to do.
Someone please give me some sort of advice.
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Relationships
Long thread! Struggling with relationship
14 replies
booandshoe · 09/06/2016 16:28
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