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Met somebody new - is there such a thing as too nice?!

(16 Posts)
harriet2802 Wed 08-Jun-16 19:50:06

Met a man on Saturday. Plenty mutual friends and we knew of each other before we got talking but never actually spoke to each other. Anyway, we met Saturday morning and got talking and he asked me for a drink. I only thought we would be having one but we ended up drinking all day and going back to his where we watched DVDs all night and listened to music, had some drinks and just had a really nice time chatting. I stayed that night and Sunday we just spent the day lazing around and I didn't go home until 10pm! I asked him why he was single and he said he had had a few flings but nothing ever worked out or felt right. He said I feel right though.

He was lovely all weekend. Complimenting me, saying how beautiful I was. Saying he would like to see me again.

We have texted none stop since and went to a gig together last night and I met a few of his friends. I had a lovely night and stayed at his again last night.

He has said he would like to see me more often and has invited me to watch a film at his on Friday if I'm free and he has booked us a table on Sunday at a lovely restaurant.

The only thing is - is there such a thing as TOO nice?! He is so really sweet but sometimes it gets a bit much for me. It's nice being told how pretty I am and how great company I am but I've even told him he doesn't need to try and impress me and what not and I've said I'm not a very soppy person! My last relationship was so different and he wasn't like thjs with me which tbh I really prefer!

I know it seems silly to say he's too nice and I do really like him and would like to see him again but I need him to stop being so lovely!! Lol. My friend has said he might be like this now and the more I know him it might calm down. I also am worried it's moving very quickly but my sister has said to just go with the flow and sometimes these things happen quickly. I just feel a bit confused! I genuinely really really like him. I don't know why but there's something holding me back. Maybe it's nerves/fear I don't know!

Any advice xx thank you

ButIbeingpoor Wed 08-Jun-16 20:03:21

Sounds like he is keen. It's early days though and this time next year you could be starting a thread about how much he takes you for granted. Be careful what you wish for!
My advice: give your new relationship a little more time....( and enough rope...)

FellOutOfBed2wice Wed 08-Jun-16 20:19:45

This sounds like how me and my husband started and we've been together years and are very happy. It worked for us. I had never had a boyfriend like my husband before.... But I realise how that that's why I married my husband and didn't marry the others! I would say wait and see. If it feels right go with it and see what happens.

Somerville Wed 08-Jun-16 20:24:00

I don't think there is such a thing is too nice BUT we have instincts for a reason and yours are telling you something...

Slow it down, I reckon.

And also ask around your mutual friends about him.

Trills Wed 08-Jun-16 20:25:59

You're not unreasonable to want to calm down a bit.

nicenewdusters Wed 08-Jun-16 20:29:57

Trust your instincts. If he's really that nice, and likes you as much as he seems to, then he won't mind if you slow things down a bit.

ALaughAMinute Wed 08-Jun-16 20:32:59

Just tell him that you really like him and enjoy his company but would prefer it if you took things a bit more slowly. If he's the lovely man you think he is he will understand.

Thisisnow16 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:34:09

Just watch your not been love bombed. If he is nice that's OK, if he is getting too clingy and wanting to be with you all the time watch out.

Redisthenewblack Wed 08-Jun-16 20:50:57

I thought my DP was 'too nice' when I first met him. I had just come out of a 5 year abusive marriage and thought that the way I had previously been treated was normal/what I deserved.

A few months in and I'm so happy it is unreal. My self esteem is though the roof. I feel sexy and wanted. I feel like my opinion is valued. I feel like making conversation with other people again because he tells me how much he enjoys talking to me.

He has helped me get the courage to go on nights out with my friends again because he tells me what great company I am and how fun I am.

I can dress how I want again because he tells me I look lovely no matter what I choose to wear. I can leave the house with no makeup on if I want because he makes me feel beautiful no matter how I look.
I can talk about anything because he is always interested in what I have to say.

Don't write this guy off. Give him a chance. He sounds lovely and from what you have said you seem to have a huge amount in common. Good luck. Hope it works out well.

SandyY2K Wed 08-Jun-16 21:08:01

I agree with your sister. Go with the flow, but tread with caution.

As time progresses you'll be able to determine if you still enjoy spending time with him or if it's too much.

harriet2802 Thu 09-Jun-16 20:12:52

Thanks everyone. I had a messy break up and I think I'm a bit nervous and scared to meet someone new and I'm really not used to it! I'm going to meet him for our date this weekend and see how I feel and if needs be I will say I really like him but need to slow it down a little bit - that's not bad is it!?

Somerville Thu 09-Jun-16 20:19:59

Saying you really like someone but want to keep it slow or slow it down definitely isn't bad. smile

Let us know how it goes

nicenewdusters Thu 09-Jun-16 23:30:50

Saying how you feel is never bad. If you don't feel you can say things now at the beginning of the relationship that in itself is not a good thing.

TheNaze73 Fri 10-Jun-16 07:40:52

I think your gut instincts are nearly always going to be right. I'm sure he is a good guy but, it all seems too much, too soon. You tell him exactly how you feel about slowing it down. If he gets the hump, you'll know it's wrong, if he's cool with it, good.

TortoiseSmile Fri 10-Jun-16 09:33:12

Its still early days, you only met him on Saturday.

You can ask him to "slow down" but really its up to you to "slow down" and for him to accept your pace, you don't really have to explain anything. If you are texting him back non-stop you are getting caught up in it and losing your grounding and perspective!

So, take your time, its still a getting-to-know-you phase. Have fun, be friends. But I would say don't get involved in anything serious until you are more sure (including sex - as that can over-complicate and confuse the situation).

Like the other posters here I'd say 1. listen to your instincts and 2. take your time.

Dowser Fri 10-Jun-16 12:53:55

I wouldn't tell him you want to slow it down. There's bound to be genuine reasons why you can't make it on a certain night.

I'd just do it naturally. If he's a bright lad he'll soon realise to take it easy himself.

Maybe staying over so early in your relationship has helped him to get a bit carried away.

As it can't be undone just start monitoring your own behaviour .

I hope it goes well ;-)

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