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Am I being used?

(10 Posts)
user1465406172 Wed 08-Jun-16 18:35:18

Hi,
I came out of 5 year relationship, and just recently started seeing someone else for about 2 months. My issue is that I'm not sure if this guy is really using me or actually does like me! He has a child from a previous relationship like me, but he's had a lot of girlfriends since then...we message each other everyday but he only sees me once a week...sometimes twice, he's never met my child and I've never met his! He sends me pictures of his daughter when theyve been on days out. He doesn't talk about his feeling much but sprung out that he thought we should go out! But I swear he was talking to other women, and possibly still does. It doesn't feel like its a relationship with seeing him so little and only really seeing him on the night time! I'm 20 and he's 32, which makes me feel weary about it, especially with his past! I feel that he probably sees me as young and vulnerable and sees me as a low maintenance, low pressure woman...I don't know what to make of this situation!! I don't want to be seen as some naive girl, but find it hard to approach serious conversations with him.

Creampastry Wed 08-Jun-16 20:47:19

Introducing partners to kids after 2 months is too soon.

Resilience16 Wed 08-Jun-16 22:20:07

Hi, if he only turns up for a shag of a night and only when it suits him then yes you are allowing yourself to be used.
Go with your gut feeling, if you think he us dodgy he probably is.

MidnightLullaby Wed 08-Jun-16 22:34:54

Of course you haven't met each other's children after two months! Why do you sound so surprised about that?

If it doesn't feel like a relationship, then it isn't. Don't make the mistake of 'assuming' this is something because you want it to be that. And if you find it hard to broach serious conversations with him, there is a reason for that.

user1465406172 Wed 08-Jun-16 23:08:38

Oh no I didn't mean it sound that I wanted him to meet my child after just this amount time, I was just trying to clarify my circumstances with him...that it's in no way at a serious position for that, should of wrote that better!!
I find it hard because I'm only really able to see him on night times so I find it hard to be able to assess his intentions.
I suppose it's best to go with gut feelings. As my last relationship ended due to cheating I cant tell if I'm being stressy and over thinking things or I'm right to feel wary of him!

whattodowiththepoo Thu 09-Jun-16 05:59:43

What do you want from this relationship? Are you getting it?
After 2 months with no shared property or children that is all that matters.

Making it "am I being used"/"does he like me" is stupid unless you know what you want from the relationship and it doesn't sound like you do.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 09-Jun-16 06:52:11

What do you mean by "I'm only really able to see him on night times"?

Does he come to your home for sex when your dc is asleep, or does he take you out to restaurants/cinema/bars etc "on night times"?

TortoiseSmile Thu 09-Jun-16 08:35:32

Sorry, the chances are if you are feeling "used" you probably are. The fact that you had to even ask this question, the same. Perhaps you are a convenience to him, as you say a low maintenance arrangement.

I'd wager a bet he's more interested in telling you about his life (photos of kids etc) than he is genuinely interested in hearing about yours. Would I be right in that? Also, feeling insecure about him talking to other women is probably a gut feeling that he really is!

Its a shame but after 2 months you can get out with less pain than later (though I know even ending short relationships can be painful). You are only 20! You have your whole life ahead of you! Don't settle for eejits. Hold your head up high and be glad you had the wit to see all this.

user1465406172 Thu 09-Jun-16 15:47:21

I don't have any help in regards to anyone looking after my child, so I don't ever really have any free time. When he comes round he normally brings us a takeaway and we watch films and stuff, sometimes we do have sex. When I did manage to have a night off he took me out to a restaurant,

goddessofsmallthings Thu 09-Jun-16 17:35:43

You're a booty call for this man and he's playing you.

This relationship won't be going anywhere except the bedroom and it's up to you to decide if you're prepared to be the low maintenance, low pressure easily pleased young woman he's taken you to be and whether you're happy with a takeaway night off cooking for a shag bestowing your sexual favours on him.

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