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third marriage and still not found love

(6 Posts)
Malon3 Tue 07-Jun-16 23:59:30

Hi all- I need some advice. I am an only child born to loving but very controlling parents. All my life I have sought other people's love, affection and attention. I got married twice and divorced. Have had numerous relationships but all ended. I always thought I knew that it was 'love' but now when I look back and look at husband number 3 and our dysfunctional relationship, I wonder what is love? I am 41 years old, parent to a 7 year old child. Not happy in my marriage. It's kind of an arrangement and we don't live together. He is in London and I am in New castle so we meet once a month only. Been married for 3 years but never lived together. My son is not his child. Son was born out of a relationship and not any of my marriages. I am fed up of being a doormat and just craving people's attention. Even in my friendships if I am not centre of attention I get upset. I know I am 41 and not 5 but that is how I am. I can not help myself and just hurt myself too much. Am very emotional and care too much about why, what and how people say/ treat me. What do so do?

EarthboundMisfit Wed 08-Jun-16 07:01:16

Have you tried therapy? X

Malon3 Thu 09-Jun-16 13:03:25

No. How do you mean together as a couple or just me? X

EarthboundMisfit Thu 09-Jun-16 13:06:47

I meant just you if you feel there's a recurring problem.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 09-Jun-16 13:53:47

I also think you need some counselling to understand why you are like this.
What you describe is not a marriage. Not in any sense of the word.
Have some counselling. Work on yourself and get to the bottom of your issues.
Then go from there.

newname99 Thu 09-Jun-16 13:54:07

I think you need to invest in therapy to understand why you keep repeating the same situation.

It is positive that you have recognised it and now try to take some steps to get understanding.

As the saying goes " if you keep doing what you have always done, you will get the same result'

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