I am "unofficially" dating the same man I've been off/on with for 3 years. We are both 26, no kids together but he has 2 he doesn't see (no DNA test, unsure they're his) or support.
I feel like shit with him 90% of the time and then there's 10% sweet. My previous ex was controlling, jealous, abusive and refused to let me leave him. He was verbally and physically violent and would not leave the house when I asked. He also cut himself and threatened suicide on social media, his friends all called me a psycho for "driving him to suicide" simply by saying I wanted to leave him as a result of his cheating, abusive behaviours etc.
This man is... different... but I feel I don't have a "right" to cut contact, and I know if I say I want to leave he will tell me I'm wrong, will pressure me for another chance, harass me on all forms of contact etc. and then guilt trip me into coming back by suddenly experiencing something traumatic.
I find it all so stressful and tiring. I know I want it to be over but it's "easier" in some ways when he isn't bombarding me with niceness. I almost feel like giving up, that he will never be out of my life.
Also I'm prone to panicking and going back, questioning my own judgement and emotions, thinking I've got it wrong. I am bipolar so know my emotions can lie to me. But I'm so unhappy and frankly he scares me. He is sexually perverse and the stuff he tries to coerce me to do is awful. I feel he wears a mask that sometimes slips... he'll be lovely and then calculatedly cruel to me, and then blame it on being in a bad mood and expect me to get over it.
He makes me feel like a nervous wreck with no confidence.
Am I "allowed" to leave? How do I?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Do you have to justify leaving someone?
fieldofpurpleflowers · 07/06/2016 15:28
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