Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is husband justified in his sexism?!

(72 Posts)
wonderlandmum Tue 07-Jun-16 15:13:45

This is making me go bonkers! He is claiming that 'as a man' he will automatically have a stronger sex drive, be more turned on by others against his will (not be able to keep it down for want of a better term!) then women could be, exclusively. This of course leads him to the 'obvious' fact that men have more of a reason (or excuse, from my point of view!) to be unfaithful, women however don't have these innate urges lol, none of us! Apparently! Can anyone else not bare the excuse 'but I'm a man' so I'm excused, AHHHHHHGH, just need to vent! Happy to hear all opinions as if I'm wrong at least I can just chill out lol

tanyadm Tue 07-Jun-16 15:15:36

Your husband is being an entitled bawbag, frankly.

wonderlandmum Tue 07-Jun-16 15:17:15

thank you tanyadm! I may choose to use that wording on him later!

ABCAlwaysBeCunting Tue 07-Jun-16 15:17:37

He is wrong.


Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Christinedonna Tue 07-Jun-16 15:19:16

Hahahahaha. No. If that argument is acceptable then women could say "my breasts are more obvious than a mans bulge, which means I'm constantly reminded of my sexuality and the fact that I am a woman with needs" being unfaithful is based on someone's personality, selfishness, lack of control..not what's between their legs

Iknownuffink Tue 07-Jun-16 15:23:30

He sounds like a pathetic cockwomble.

Christinedonna Tue 07-Jun-16 15:25:55

Knob jockey. Thought I'd help towards all the things you can call him

Felascloak Tue 07-Jun-16 15:27:43

It's a fairly common view (obviously that is total bollocks!)
Tell him that studies suggest in other monogamous animals the females have sex with the fittest males, then pass off any offspring as their long term partners. So in your view women are better at having affairs and hiding it than men. He can put that in his pipe and smoke it!!!

LaurieFairyCake Tue 07-Jun-16 15:50:34

Yeah the Desmond Morris programme put paid to that theory

Women wear less clothes around ovulation

Seek out good quality sperm

And one in 70 have the person raising the child with them as not the child's biological father (and they don't know) grin

wonderlandmum Tue 07-Jun-16 16:06:24

lol thank you so much guys at least you have made me laugh! and now have fantastic name ammo! as well as some very very good points, thank you for articulating for me in my moment of madness!

OrianaBanana Tue 07-Jun-16 16:10:26

In ancient mythology the prophet Tiresias (who had been both a man and a woman) claimed that women took a lot more pleasure in sex than men did.

KurtseyAllslop Tue 07-Jun-16 16:11:34


It's a 'fact' that has been used for donkeys years to justify men cheating on their partners. That's all.

Men, perhaps, have higher sex drives but I think this is much more attributable to the fact that women have historically taken on the majority of the domestic and childcare labour and simply haven't had the free time to indulge their sex drives. Men, on the other hand, have historically had the luxury of free time during which to think about sex. I don't think there's anything 'natural' about it.

I also, actually, think it's really quite a dangerous discourse and risks pathologising rape- 'I'm sorry your honour, I just couldn't help it because of my naturally enormous sex drive'.

sonlypuppyfat Tue 07-Jun-16 16:13:02

Is he saying all this just because he knows it will wind you up?

Mrskeats Tue 07-Jun-16 16:54:39

What a load of old rubbish
Those attitudes infantilises men imho
It's as though they have no control

TheNaze73 Tue 07-Jun-16 17:47:57

Some interesting points here. Of course he's being a fucktard.
There's no justification in any type of affair but, aren't there evolutionary arguments for makes spreading their seed & leaving? Maybe that's utter bs

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow Tue 07-Jun-16 17:53:41

To give some historical perspective before Victorian times came up with their "Angel in the house" theory that women were more chaste and men couldn't help themselves, it was considered that women were the wanton sex-obsessed sex that would lure men into temptation.

And that men were the civilizers.

wonderlandmum Tue 07-Jun-16 17:53:56

I agree sad he could very much be saying it to wind me up considering recent events, which are much too long to go fully into here, whole other thread lol, but he has pretended (our whole marriage) to have certain views about how he believes you should behave in a relationship, what is acceptable and what isn't, what he thinks is right and wrong etc, and since I discovered one 'belief' was a lie, they have all been pouring out sad going to get all emotional now sorry, I can't stop the stupid tears.
Now apparently if there came a time where I wouldn't have sex with him for say a few months, he can't tell me that he wouldn't want to go elsewhere. This is opposed to my husband of just last week who said that in the future we would be old and wrinkly together, best friends, no matter what (including our looks or sex drives etc) I know to some people this is a solution for them, but it just isn't for me sad
I can't believe I have gone from a man who claimed I was his soulmate and said no one could compare to me (yeah prob not true, but at least he claimed it!) to a stranger who would want to do that if I wasn't up for sex. I'm so so sad, really don't know what to do, sorry for changing the tone of the thread lol (yep I'm a nervous laugher!)

ChicRock Tue 07-Jun-16 17:58:06

Ok, so he's pre-justifying an affair.

That tells you all you need to know.

"If there came a time where I wouldn't have sex"...

DoinItFine Tue 07-Jun-16 18:02:46

What a nasty little prick you are married to.

Also stupid.

Felascloak Tue 07-Jun-16 18:05:39

Ouch, nasty wanker
So you've been married for a week or did I misunderstand it? Has something happened to trigger this?
Sorry OP, I hope he's just being a knob

wonderlandmum Tue 07-Jun-16 18:05:54

it seems I am sad, whereas everyone I have told has said nooooo not (your DH) I don't believe it, he loves you to bits, he's the nicest guy etc. Amazing how much someone can hide, or change, makes it all the more painful

Felascloak Tue 07-Jun-16 18:06:29

Please post it all here if it helps to talk about it

wonderlandmum Tue 07-Jun-16 18:09:12

felas sorry no we have been married for several years, this has come out due to me discovering one of them being a lie, didn't hide his tracks very well, sorry don't want to say too much to out myself, have family on here etc (blush) I hope he is just being a nob too, he is a stubborn shit, but not sure where we would go on from here...

TheNotoriousPMT Tue 07-Jun-16 18:09:49

So... He's putting in the groundwork now to make you insecure about his fidelity so that in future you won't dare turn him down in case he cheats.

That isn't nice.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now