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looking for Advice

(5 Posts)
seriouslyclueless Tue 07-Jun-16 09:56:11

Hi, just looking for some advice please.
I want to start divorce proceedings against my husband and don't have a clue where to start.

Been together for 16 years and married for 8.
3 children together.
I know he will never the home unless there are legal measures to make him do so.
I'm not sure I'll manage the house on my own so we will probably need to sell up and not even sure we can afford that.
It all feels such a mess and I feel utterly trapped as want to separate but know my husband doesn't and will go out of his way to stop this happening.
Any advice on what steps to take would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

TheNaze73 Tue 07-Jun-16 09:59:15

Firstly, is there a friend you can confide in?
Secondly, what makes you assume that he'll have to be the one to leave?
Thirdly, good luck. Things must be bad to come to this however, maybe engage with a solicitor with an initial outline plan

Have you discussed your decision with him, now you've green lighted it, in your head?

RiceCrispieTreats Tue 07-Jun-16 10:25:06

Speak to a solicitor.
Bring copies of bank account statements, any investments or financial assets with you.

You get to divorce even if he doesn't want you to, but since it doesn't sound like there will be an agreement from him, mediation is out and you need to go through the courts.

Which is actually a positive thing: he may not want you to divorce him, but once you get the legal wheels in motion, there's nothing he can do to stop it. Only facts and the law will remain, and they will determine the divorce settlement. Fair and square.

seriouslyclueless Tue 07-Jun-16 10:42:00

Thanks for advice.
I don't really know who will be able to stay in the house.
I suppose because I am primary parent of 3 children I think it will be me but I also think the easiest thing to do would be to save up and find a flat for me and children as known husband won't leave and it feels like it would maybe be easiest all round if me and children's went.
I've spoke to him numerous times about how unhappy I am but he just refuses to engage and then goes to work and then acts as though the conversation never happened.
He is also very controlling about what we do, where we go, any plans we make.
I feel like I am slowly losing my mind and really just want to pack up mine and kids bags and go.

Resilience16 Tue 07-Jun-16 11:37:54

Sorry you are in this position. You can get free legal advice from the CAB, and advice about leaving a controlling relationship from Women's Aid.
You deserve to be happy and heard. Get some advice and start making your exit plan. You can do it.

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