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I don't know what to do

(6 Posts)
MumToBe2015R Mon 06-Jun-16 21:40:21

So been married to DH 6yrs now we have a LO who's just gone 1. Through out this past year were constantly arguing, not getting on with eachother. Are we finished?

Today he crossed the line! LO needed a nappy change so I just about got 5mins peace this evening after being on my feet all day, asked Dh to change him (he was sitting on the iPad fully rested all day) & he turned around slammed the iPad on the table, threw the change mat on the floor & nappy stuff, then little one decided to start doing his martial arts moves when he's having a nappy change & I just took over & told him to leave it! And he got the container with the nappy stuff threw it all over the floor, tipped LO toy basket all over the floor! I said to him what the hell are u doing, he goes 'U better just leave me alone or in going to throw these wipes at u!' Im so upset I don't see us working in sick & tired of him! Sometimes he's so sweet & sometimes like this! He recently had been to Dr due to depression & is on some tablets. But that's not a good enough excuse right?! I don't know what to do, don't want to mention it to anyone right now. No one knows sad

SandyY2K Mon 06-Jun-16 22:14:09

If you don't take drastic action, he will think this is acceptable to you and do it again. How fdare he threaten to throw the wipes at you?

Can you go anywhere this evening and stay the night?

When he's calmed down I would discuss a seperation. This isn't a good marriage right now and he's behaving very poorly.

Resilience16 Mon 06-Jun-16 22:42:57

Throwing things and breaking things are threatening behaviour and are actually abusive.
Is this the first time it has happened? What happens or what would happen if you tried to talk to him about it?
If you are having to walk on eggshells around him then this is not a healthy relationship. You and your child deserve better.
Speak to Women's aid for some practical advice and support, consider your options and decide what us best for you and your child.
Good luck x

CarbeDiem Tue 07-Jun-16 00:06:17

You already know the answer. No it's not a good enough excuse. Nothing would be for that behaviour. He was out of order.
If he will talk about it he needs to know that you will not tolerate that again. He also needs to get himself some help.
If he won't talk or refused to acknowledge what he done then that would be it for me and I'd be asking him to leave.

MumToBe2015R Tue 07-Jun-16 00:29:14

I've said to him many times I don't see us working, I don't see us having a future together! He says 'leave & go to UR mums then!' I told him he should leave as me & LO are settled here! I'm sick & tired of it, but at the same time I love him aswell & don't want to let him go. I really would appreciate if he got help from a doctor about his anger issues, he's already getting help regarding the depression. He can never be bothered to do anything with us, works 5days a week & his 2 days off he says don't ask me to go out because that's my days to rest! But what about me?! Am I not entitled to want to spend the day out with my family (me him & LO) went to the park on Sunday was good weather, even that when I said it around 2pm his response 'LO come we better go otherwise never going to hear the end of it from your mum' & literally we went & got back & he was rubbing it in my face 'see I took you out' ffs! angry angry

How should I approach for him to get help or get out? I really don't want to be a burden on my family either we got a home here so I want to stay here & expect him to go!

His response to seperation is: I will make ur life & UR families like hell, I will take LO! sad

Resilience16 Tue 07-Jun-16 05:10:32

You can't make someone change who doesn't want to change, so your choices are either stay and suck it up, or get some advice about getting out of this toxic relationship .
Please do contact Women's Aid for practical advice on your options and a way forward. The fact that he is threatening you when you discuss separation is a big unacceptable red flag. The fact that he is depressed is not an excuse for him to treat you like crap.
You and your LO deserve better x

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