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what would you do

(11 Posts)
tryagain02 Sun 05-Jun-16 22:46:05

Ive been divorced 3 years now, not exactly young any more but still life in the old girl!!
I met a man, really nice chap, grownup DC's like him, initially all seemed fab...
But...!! He is incapable of a physical relationship beyond a peck on the mouth. At all.
At first i thought it will be ok, we will get there (neither of us being in the flush of youth) but I have come to realise as lovely as he is, nothing is going to change. He says he is going to do so much, job related etc but nothing changes.
I feel now as if Im dying inside, totally undesirable but at same time so sad that I have say all this to this kind man, wishing he could be more.
Am I right, could you live without sex, or being desired? At 53 does it still matter..?

Handsoffmysweets Sun 05-Jun-16 22:55:45

Is there a physical/emotional reason why he can't take things further tryagain?

tryagain02 Sun 05-Jun-16 22:59:04

No physical, lot of baggage that I am not able to help with i.e. beyond me not that I haven't tried or won't.

Handsoffmysweets Sun 05-Jun-16 22:59:54

Has he been to counselling or is he at least open up this?

willconcern Sun 05-Jun-16 23:01:03

At 53 you are still young. Of course it still matters! And reading your OP, it clearly matters to YOU, which is what is important. This man is your friend, not partner material.

tryagain02 Sun 05-Jun-16 23:06:03

Had no counselling and won't go. GP said all ok.

I cannot give more than I have, or have tried harder than I have, but to no avail. After a long miserable marriage I thought I was so lucky to meet someone so good to me and uncomplicated, how wrong was I.

SandyY2K Mon 06-Jun-16 00:32:24

Is he asexual?

Claraoswald36 Mon 06-Jun-16 00:52:47

Get rid. I'm not 53 but I met someone like this few years back and it sucked the life out of me for a while. One day I just couldn't call him back and I felt awful about it but I physically couldn't do it. Then I met several nice men with less issues with sex! Stop selling yourself short!!

hellsbellsmelons Mon 06-Jun-16 11:54:26

Oh no - I couldn't live like that.
Can you just be friends and you go out and find yourself someone who does desire you.
You aren't happy.
You don't have to keep trying.
You don't owe him anything!

tryagain02 Mon 06-Jun-16 15:39:35

no, he says he's not asexual, just had a lot of put downs over the years..

Time to move on I think... heyho!

hellsbellsmelons Mon 06-Jun-16 15:45:50

You gave it your best shot.
Deffo move on now.

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