Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Shall I tell this woman that her dh is making a pest of himself with me?

(21 Posts)
Bopaloona Sun 05-Jun-16 20:45:55

A married man who lives around the corner from me is making a pest of himself. I've in no way encouraged him, indeed I only know him loosely as we first met out in the street. He's bought me flowers (heard I was going through divorce) and then invited me out for dinner! shock Now he keeps 'accidentally' popping up all over the place. I don't even speak to him now, just ignore, ignore, ignore. I'm feeling tempted to tell his wife...

FuzzyOwl Sun 05-Jun-16 20:46:51

Just tell him you will tell his wife if he doesn't leave you alone.

Redisthenewblack Sun 05-Jun-16 20:47:55

Are you the poster that daren't paint the fence?

Sgoinneal Sun 05-Jun-16 20:48:29

Did you post about this last week - he was actively stalking you? If so did you log it with the police? I would do that rather than tell his wife tbh.

Pinkheart5915 Sun 05-Jun-16 20:49:25

Just tell him your not interested and don't want him pestering you anymore.

Madbengalmum Sun 05-Jun-16 20:52:03

Just tell his wife he is offending you.

Redisthenewblack Sun 05-Jun-16 20:58:07

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2645746-My-stalker-is-getting-on-my-tits-help-me

If this isn't your post there is a lot of useful advice on this thread.

However...If my instincts are correct and you are the same poster, I think you're loving the drama and you should continue as you are.

wannabestressfree Sun 05-Jun-16 21:02:16

Ouch.....

Vintage1996 Sun 05-Jun-16 21:06:04

Just tell him you won't be accepting the flowers or going out to dinner because you don't think his wife would be very happy about it, simple.

SoleBizzz Sun 05-Jun-16 21:10:13

I told a man that if be didn't leave me alone I would tell his Wife. He went to lunch Mr in my face but my friend stood in between us. He broke her eye socket.

SoleBizzz Sun 05-Jun-16 21:10:25

Punch me.

paniniswapx3 Sun 05-Jun-16 21:15:44

If you're worried about him turning nasty, then I'd approach his wife & say that it's lovely he's offering so much help & you appreciate her letting her husband look out for you, but that it's honestly not necessary as you have everything under control. That way, you're not outright accusing him of anything but it lets her know what's going on & hopefully she'll put a stop to it, but without him having any reason to have a go at you.

I appreciate it's shit having to pander to him in any way, but if it means you don't face any comeback from either him or his wife, then surely that's worth it.

paniniswapx3 Sun 05-Jun-16 21:16:46

Sole that's shocking. What happened? Hopefully he got prosecuted & left you alone.

SoleBizzz Sun 05-Jun-16 21:19:02

My friend took him to court. I can't remember the outcome. It was 1991 but she received some money for it. He is dead now. Drank himself to death.

EarthboundMisfit Sun 05-Jun-16 21:24:07

If, as it seems, you have three threads about the same issue, what are you looking for? Do you WANT people to tell you to tell his wife? If so, why?

It must be absolutely horrible, but I think the advice to avoid all direct contact and speak to the police was sound.

Jofo Sun 05-Jun-16 21:27:25

Stating that you know him 'loosely' doesn't help your case! wink

Bopaloona Sun 05-Jun-16 21:34:45

I did tell the police but all they said was to keep a record of events. Hia behaviour is 'pita' but not enough for the police to pay him a visit - yet

EarthboundMisfit Sun 05-Jun-16 21:40:51

I see. Could you get a solicitor to write to him? Not sure how it works.

timelytess Sun 05-Jun-16 23:02:23

Every time he approaches you, ask him how his wife is. It brings them back to reality. married men poem

VocalDuck Sun 05-Jun-16 23:14:44

Just ignore him and keep reporting to the police every time he makes contact.

WickedLazy Sun 05-Jun-16 23:20:57

"If you're worried about him turning nasty, then I'd approach his wife & say that it's lovely he's offering so much help & you appreciate her letting her husband look out for you, but that it's honestly not necessary as you have everything under control. That way, you're not outright accusing him of anything but it lets her know what's going on & hopefully she'll put a stop to it, but without him having any reason to have a go at you."

^I like this idea. I think she'll smile and agree with you, then be straight on the phone to him. Might put the wind up him a bit (even if he convinces her you're a loon).

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now