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Can you talk me through an OLD relationship timeline?

(41 Posts)
SlowComfortableShrew Sun 05-Jun-16 19:13:44

I've met someone I like on okcupid and we've been seeing each other 5 weeks. Can you give me examples of your successful OLD relationships...
1.After how many dates did you snog
2. After how dates dos you have the exclusivity conversation
3. How long before you had sex
4. When was it "a relationship"? Did this evolve naturally or did you have a conversation?

BerrySquash Sun 05-Jun-16 19:50:23

Sorry if I'm being thick, what does OLD stand for?

IthinkIamsinking Sun 05-Jun-16 19:58:32

1. First date
2. We didn't
3. First date blush
4. Evolved naturally. Married now.

SlowComfortableShrew Sun 05-Jun-16 20:00:02

OLD= online dating

DownstairsMixUp Sun 05-Jun-16 20:00:36

1.After how many dates did you snog - First date
2. After how dates dos you have the exclusivity conversation - he asked me the first weekend we spent together. I said no.
3. How long before you had sex - first date
4. When was it "a relationship"? Did this evolve naturally or did you have a conversation? - erm about a month into it. He asked and i said yes

HandyWoman Sun 05-Jun-16 20:01:16

online dating, Berry

<waves> to Slow you ok? Or just interested?

In my case: snogged on date 2, exclusivity chat date 4 or 5 I think (he very quickly said he was coming off the app which is normally a pink flag but not in this case. Relationship?? Define relationship!!!!! Haha!!

HandyWoman Sun 05-Jun-16 20:02:04

dtd also date 4

Dollypoppy Sun 05-Jun-16 20:04:00

1 - 1st date
2 - we didn't, just sort of felt obvious we wouldn't see anyone else.
3 - 1st date blush
4 - it just evolved, think we're both a bit rubbish with deep and meaningful conversations, but talking about future plans/meeting family and friends/supporting each other means it feels 'right'. Not said the L word yet though, think neither of us want to be first!

Berry - on line dating smile

HandyWoman Sun 05-Jun-16 20:05:18

No L word here either, Dolly how long is it for you????

SlowComfortableShrew Sun 05-Jun-16 20:12:18

I'm ok Handy, the guy I'm seeing is away for another week, and he's been messaging me quite consistently, but he was giving me very mixed messages in the beginning, and because of my anxious attachment style, I have no perspective on what's normal because I just want the security of being in a "relationship", but I'm scared that I will come on too strong when he gets back, as it's only been 5 weeks

Dollypoppy Sun 05-Jun-16 20:14:08

5 months Handy, how about you?

Toddzoid Sun 05-Jun-16 20:35:42

I dated one man for two months from tinder last year. I had sex with him on the first date but it was never really exclusive since he wouldn't delete tinder and it ended when he informed me he had chlamydia hmm (thankfully I didn't catch it).

Its different relationship to relationship anyway. The guy I'm currently dating had sex on second date and he asked me to be his girlfriend on the third date, never had it happen so quickly before but am happy and it's going well so why not!

IthinkIamsinking Sun 05-Jun-16 21:00:50

because I just want the security of being in a "relationship"

Not sure what you mean by this OP

Oysterbabe Sun 05-Jun-16 21:20:46

1.After how many dates did you snog - 2nd date
2. After how dates dos you have the exclusivity conversation - we didn't.
3. How long before you had sex - 3rd date.
4. When was it "a relationship"? Did this evolve naturally or did you have a conversation? - After the 3rd date. We didn't discuss it, it was just obvious at that point that we'd keep seeing each other.

HandyWoman Sun 05-Jun-16 21:50:21

Only 3 Dolly I'm no way saying first. It's too soon any way... But I'm still not!

HandyWoman Sun 05-Jun-16 21:55:48

Is he more consistent now, Slow? I lost my sh*t loads in the early weeks, as can be seen on The Thread... OLD can be stressful in the early days and caution and insecurity are often the name of the game. It's hard.

60sname Sun 05-Jun-16 22:10:42

1. Second date
2. We didn't (I don't think)
3. Fifth date
4. After 10 dates/6 weeks

Married now

SlowComfortableShrew Sun 05-Jun-16 22:49:46

Handy he got a lot better in the week before he went away - even told me that he had told his family about me. It could all turn to shit though, he has messaged me while he's been away ( fairly remote place) but sometimes a day from blue ticks to his reply, so who knows what will happen once he's back...

laidbackneko Mon 06-Jun-16 03:12:51

I met DP of 4 years online.

1. Snogged at end of first date
2. exclusivity conversation after 3 dates
3. Shagged on 4th
4. Became relationship after we DTD

No hard and fast rules though. Just go with your gut and enjoy the ride!

lostheloveofmylife Mon 06-Jun-16 03:40:17

Met on POF about 16 months ago.
First kiss on date 5
First slept together on date 5
Never really had exclusivity talk, it was just obvious we were in a relationship
He told me he loved me after about 6 months, met each other's kids, friends and parents since then.
Best boyfriend / partner I've ever had- so glad I tried POF.

suspiciousofgoldfish Mon 06-Jun-16 04:46:24

1. Snogged on first date.
2. Don't remember having the exclusivity conversation at all. We both just assumed neither of us was seeing anyone else I think.
3. Date 5.
4. Developed very quickly, I remember he gave me house keys after a couple of months.

We are now married with children.

starskey80 Mon 06-Jun-16 06:36:32

I'm fairly new to this but so far.....

1. Kissed on first date.
2. Kinda had the exclusive chat third
3. Hopefully date 4
5. Nowhere near this

Sorry, not really a helpful post.blush

I totally get the angst though.

Jollyphonics Mon 06-Jun-16 07:17:27

I'm just over 2 months in.

Snogged on 2nd date.
Exclusivity chat on 4th date.
Sex on 2nd date
Vague "relationship" chat on 4th date, but really just evolved and sort of went without saying from the start. He "hid" his OLD profile after our 2nd date, I left it a couple more dates before I did.

I know I'm falling in love and I think he may be too, but neither of us have said it, and I don't want to be first!

niceupthedance Mon 06-Jun-16 07:42:33

At five weeks we had had sex for the first time, he asked me to be his girlfriend before it happened. But he was a pretty fast mover in that regard, I think most people don't consider it a relationship until you stop counting the number of dates!

Cabrinha Mon 06-Jun-16 08:03:00

^ that's a really good point about not counting dates as a sign of something being a relationship!
For me it's similar - when you go home from a date without another one arranged but you both just know it's going to happen.

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