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Advice regarding grandmother please.

(15 Posts)
Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 19:02:14

I visited my grandmother at home today as I usually do every week, and we were having a conversation about funerals as she has just been to one. She asked if I remembered her husbands funeral(my grandads who died when I was a toddler), I said no as I was only my dds age when he died she then became slightly defensive and said no it was after dd was just born, after a few minutes of trying to correct her she eventually realised my dd(3yrs) wasn't born then and I didn't attend due to my age.. should I be concerned about this? Is it an early sign of dementia or just forgetfulness in old age? It was really uncomfortable she was adamant the funeral was after my dd was born. My grandad died 20+ yrs ago.

Rachelhampton29 Sun 05-Jun-16 19:08:15

Same thing happened with my grandmother she slowly went downhill. But it could just be her age?! sad

Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 19:10:07

That's what I was worried about.. my grandmother had always said some strange comments but according to my mum She's always been a bit blunt although she's never said anything like that before. I haven't mentioned it to anyone as I didn't really know what to think of it.

staffiegirl Sun 05-Jun-16 20:15:58

I wonder if she was feeling a bit out of sorts having recently attended a funeral?

Now that you've noticed this mix up, could you monitor her behaviour more closely from now on?

Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 20:21:11

It wasn't anyone particularly close to her that died otherwise I would have thought the same.. yes I will definitely keep an eye on things but I have no idea what to look out for really.sad she is in her 80's but looks 10yrs+ younger and is still very mobile and goes on holidays with her friends still lol. But she seemed adamant by the look on her face that I'd had my 3yr old daughter at her husbands funeral even though he died so long ago.. we haven't attended any funerals together that she could have got it mixed up with either.

Andbabymakesthree Sun 05-Jun-16 20:22:52

It could be the start of Dementia . It could also be as simple as a urine infection - can cause confusion.

What do other family members think?

PinkFluffiUnicorn Sun 05-Jun-16 20:23:21

I would suggest you keep a note of this, hey a spare note book, write the date, & roughly what she said and how confused she was, I know it was upsetting to see, but it helps to put it in perspective if it happens again. flowers

Footle Sun 05-Jun-16 20:24:10

I can remember my grandma insisting that I must have been at my parents' wedding, because ' where else would you have been ?' In fact it took place four years before I was born, which she realised a few minutes later. She was absolutely not demented, just a bit vague now and then. Yours might be the same if there's no more evidence, especially if the family is quite large.

FrogFairy Sun 05-Jun-16 20:24:37

Sounds like she thinks you are your mum and dad is you.

Just wanted to add that a UTI in the elderly can produce dementia like symptoms so maybe get her checked for that.

Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 20:30:45

Yeah maybe she did get me muddled up with my parents, she does repeat stories an awful lot but she's always done this and I think she just likes talking to someone as she lives on her own IYSWIM.

Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 20:36:22

Could someone tell me what sort of thing to look out for? I'm wondering if I've overlooked anything before..

staffiegirl Sun 05-Jun-16 21:08:29

Could someone tell me what sort of thing to look out for?

I used to visit an elderly person who developed dementia. At first, she used to mix up dates, forget GP appointments, hair appointments, little things like that. Then she started to make things up - that her grandchildren had visited and stolen money from her, that her neighbours were all having rampant noisy sex (it was an OAP assisted living complex), then she became quite paranoid, that people were watching her, spying in her windows and counting how many times she hung out her washing. These events were over a long period of time, it wasn't a sudden onset.

It was difficult to pinpoint at first as we can all muddle things up, forget appointments/birthdays etc. I don't think there's any one thing to look for, it's an accumulation.

This site may have some useful info :

Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 21:44:23

Thank you. A few weeks ago my grandmother went to an appointment on the wrong date.. didn't really think much of it at the time. I will keep an eye on things and hopefully it will have been a one off.

calamityjam Sun 05-Jun-16 21:52:17

My grandma had a fall last year and broke her wrist, she's 86 this July. Before her fall and subsequent hospital stay, she was very lucid and with it. However since then, her memory has got progressively worse until now she even forgets that my grandad has died and she often loses things. She did just start with the odd memory lapse, but is now developing full blown dementia. I have worked extensively with the elderly and can spot the signs easily. Please keep an eye on her as it could be other things, such as UTI. Also low vit b levels can cause such symptoms and are very common in elderly women.

Buggers Sun 05-Jun-16 22:07:42

I will do thanks, I think she takes vitamin pills and has regular blood tests so think uti would show up. It was a really hot day today though so maybe the heat just got to her a bit..

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