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Friend problem, more of a WWYD.

(11 Posts)
Tacle Sun 05-Jun-16 12:10:37

Im friends with someone that I've known for over 20 years, we still have a good relationship but in person meetings are more difficult nowadays due to distance, DC and work commitments. So we only tend to get together every 6 months or so.
About 3 weeks ago she messaged me asking to meet up. We arranged a date, I booked a day off work to do so and I was really looking forward to catching up with her.

Anyway, last Tuesday I happened to send her a text about something else and mentioned our meeting. She replied "oh have we arranged something, when?"
I was taken aback by this - she'd set up the meeting in the first place and doesn't have a history of being flaky. she doesn't even remember doing so, even though we hardly ever see each other?
I replied with the date we'd arranged.
She came back with "oh I might be busy that day, I'll get back to you" So I said ok but please let me know asap as I've booked a day off work and don't want to waste my leave days.
She said she'd get back to me. That was last Tuesday. It's now Sunday and nothing. We're supposed to be meeting on Tuesday.

I know I can ask her if she's sorted it out yet but do feel the ball is in her court.I'm a bit hurt by it and just feel like withdrawing my leave request and letting her know I can't make it.

loobyloo1234 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:13:27

I hate flaky friends ... so annoying. BUT if she hasn't done this thing before, could she be going through a hard time? And therefore be distracted? I would text her to check the meeting is still on and if it is, maybe she will confide in you?

gamerchick Sun 05-Jun-16 12:14:01

I would do exactly that, leave is precious.

I probably wouldn't think harshly of her though, especially if she doesn't have form. There could be allsorts going on.

gamerchick Sun 05-Jun-16 12:15:15

But either way don't text. Pick the phone up and ring her,

summerainbow Sun 05-Jun-16 12:27:19

Something is wrong .
Either relationship or memory problem.
Ring her and see how she sounds then ring her other half .
Some people will tell something is not right others will hide it .

SmallBee Sun 05-Jun-16 12:30:46

I'd call to check if she is ok and suggest you rearrange for a different date as she's obviously not planned for seeing you on Tuesday.

WriteforFun1 Sun 05-Jun-16 12:32:19

I can't be friends with flakes
but as this is a one off I would ring and check what has happened

of course you can't waste leave so you must ring

I wonder if something has happened that's made her temporarily flakey.

Tacle Sun 05-Jun-16 13:48:47

Thanks everyone.
I was being over sensitive and took it personally and hadn't even thought something may be wrong her end. She's not on FB so can't go there for clues!
I'll call her for a chat but will definitely cancel my time off on Tuesday as it gives me a leave day back .
I'll then have 5 days to use up before October so can have a week's holiday which I desperately need.

WriteforFun1 Sun 05-Jun-16 14:54:57

I don't get it
why would you need FB for clues?

she is your friend, you just ask if everything is okay?

Tacle Sun 05-Jun-16 17:35:01

I will ask her, when I speak to her.
We're not in daily or even weekly contact nowadays, for the reasons I mentioned in my OP.

Many pp have suggested that there may be something wrong in her life, so I was saying that if she had FB I may have picked up a clue from it as to what's wrong and of course I would have offered help and support if I was aware of her having any problems. I'm not aware of any though, so I will call her this evening and hope that she feels she can talk to me, if there are indeed any problems in her life.

WillIEverBeASizeTen Sun 05-Jun-16 22:13:11

She's not menopausal is she? I forget EVERYTHING!

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