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Never felt so alone, just need someone(5 Posts)
Now I'm sorry to drown myself in self pity but I have no idea who to get out of this horrible feeling.
I have a beautiful 1 and a half year old daughter, for the last 6 months I suffered with really bad depression. Evidently I pushed my partner away, but I've got to say he wasn't the best of help during it.
I've got myself in a frame of mind where I feel like I've controlled that, but to my surprise... He doesn't know if he wants me anymore.
For the last month he's been saying he doesn't feel it with us anymore but he loves me, then saying we will make it work and getting back with me. To only break up with me again the following weekend.
He literally again just done this yesterday says he needs a break from us and that it doesn't mean it's the end of us, he just needs time away.
So im sat in our house, with out child, surrounded by our memories and tbh I have no idea how to not feel sad. I just feel constantly sad, it's draining. In every way possible. I've never realised someone could have such a impact on my life. I just want to stop feeling like this. And to make matters worse my best friend is now sleeping with his best friend.... who oh coincidentally has just got up and left his pregnant girlfriend at the same time. So I can't even talk to her because it all just infuriates me. I feel so alone. Sorry to rant.
Didnt want to read and run.
You sound as if you ferl overwhelmed by a lot of different situations. The depression is the most important one and needs addressing. There is a lot of help out there so please see your GP first thing Monday and talk that through.
Your partner is a first class player of emotions and is manipulating yours, so you dont know where you stand from one day to the next. That's beyond unhelpful and he needs to stand up and be responsible for you and the life you have created together . Can you emotionally detach enough to see that he is not doing you any favours? And get a bit of self righteous anger that he gets to behave this way?
On a side note. Is your best friend aware that she is sleeping with such a morally upright man? I think if you can you should talk to her, but if she is aware of the situation she's in, then she doesn't sound like someone who can help you.
hope you can get some help x
Why are you giving him the choice of coming back?
if he doesn't know whether he wants to be with you, then if it were me I'd remove the choice. How dare he think you will hang around getting emotionally ripped to shreds while he makes his mind up!
Bugger that. Tell him to stay away until you are ready to talk about what needs to change before you will consider whether to allow him to move back.
Focus on your dd and your own well-being. Do something everyday for just you and work on plans for your future independently of him. And stop being a doormat and allowing his casual and cheap treatment of you.
Have you had any support for your depression? Have you discussed it with your health visitor or GP? Are you on anti-depressants and/or getting any counselling?
First things first, you need support for that.
Secondly, if he's moved out and you're solely responsible for your DD, you need someone to help by looking after her so you can have a break from time to time. Contact Home Start as I'm sure they'd be able to help you: www.home-start.org.uk/Pages/FAQs/Category/how-home-start-helps
Do you have any family who would be supportive?
Thirdly your partner is being an arsehole, and he doesn't deserve you. But I think you will find it easier to deal with him if you get support with 1 and 2.
so you will read this and ignore - I know - because youhave to be in the frame of mind to believe it
1st rule of mumclub - be self reliant - know your own goals and future and get there. if you have a helpful support - great - fab - awesome
if you don't - fuck em - get there anyway.
don't be d=some fucking pathetic doorat - I need - a - man type fucknut. you don't - life will be harder no doubt - but get your shit together whether you are with him or not
shit you not
as soon as you are an independent woman - not a pathetic leech - then fuck me do they come crawling back
an if they don't - fuck em
your life is sorted either way
sort your life out love - YOUR life
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