Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.


(79 Posts)
datingdisaster41 Sat 04-Jun-16 18:37:18

Hi all - I've tried online dating - I just seem to see the same old face on pof (men probs think the same about mine!) I'd like to try Tinder but does anyone have experience? I heard you have to go through Facebook and I don't want it to show up on my Facebook account. Also - am I a bit too old as I'm mid-forties? Thanks!

SoddingPufflers Sat 04-Jun-16 18:47:44

My friend is 42 and out on her first tinder date tonight. Interest has been shown. It seems many are much older than they let on.

forumdonkey Sat 04-Jun-16 22:16:17

Tinder is great, it's not the ONS app that people portray. I've had loads of dates from Tinder and if I fancy going dating I log on and can get a date :-). You log in through FB but it doesn't show on your FB. Give it a go

datingdisaster41 Sat 04-Jun-16 22:57:14

OK thanks, forum and Sodding - that's spurred me on! I will smile

RaaRaaTheLion Sat 04-Jun-16 22:58:25

Doesn't show up on your Facebook, I promise! I met DP on tinder late last year after many awful dates and I think I can confidently say that he's the one. We're moving in together next month smile

datingdisaster41 Sat 04-Jun-16 23:06:26

Ooh thanks, RaaRaa -that's inspiring! Good luck.

forumdonkey Sat 04-Jun-16 23:22:15

I've had a couple of casual relationships from there and a good few dates who have all been nice and normal. I went back to it a few weeks ago and have had 3 dates since and I'm 46

ladylambkin Sun 05-Jun-16 00:36:12

I met my current partner on Tinder just over a year ago. Give it a go!

Toddzoid Sun 05-Jun-16 09:36:25

I've been on a few tinder dates. They were all rubbish grin. But don't let that deter you, some people do find long lasting love on there... I know two couples that met on tinder and are now engaged!

cinammontwist Sun 05-Jun-16 12:24:15

I went on 2 tinder dates yesterday. One was very dull and I left early and the other went on for around 5 hours, far too much alcohol consumed and a lot of laughs. No idea if anything will come of it but it was fun and I felt attractive. And he paid for everything, including my cab home. He may have just wanted a shag - lets see if he contacts me today after going home alone.

I've met some very well educated men but also some who are also really crackpot crazy. Give it a go!

Slowdecrease Mon 06-Jun-16 01:48:46

Another one here who met DP on Tinder. A year and a half ago smile

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Mon 06-Jun-16 01:50:44

I like tinder the best of all dating sites I have tried. It doesn't post to Facebook.

JellyBean31 Mon 06-Jun-16 07:17:20

Another tinder fan. I like that no one can message you unless you've "liked" them first, unlike POF where any old Tom dick or Harry can pester you ☺️

Cat2014 Mon 06-Jun-16 07:22:47

I've been using tinder and it's great, have to filter through a lot of rubbish to get to the decent guys though smile

niceupthedance Mon 06-Jun-16 07:30:25

I met my partner on tinder. I did have to go through about 400 matches and a few dates with unsuitable people first though. Definitely the best site IMO.

StillDrSethHazlittMD Mon 06-Jun-16 08:00:04

I'm a man and I haven't even had one match on it. I hated online dating but did at least get some dates out of it once in a while.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Mon 06-Jun-16 08:59:51

Do you have a good selection of photos and have you written a bit in the bio? The thing that makes me swipe left even if I like the photos is nothing in the bio - what's the point in matching with someone when you have literally no idea what they are interested in? Also the photos - make sure they are photos of you, not a big group of men, delete any photos of you skydiving or poking a tiger, holding a giant fish, waving a fag or a pint around or swearing at the camera.
If you do all that and still don't get matches then maybe you aren't swiping right enough? You need a lot of swipes to get matches.

Slowdecrease Mon 06-Jun-16 10:38:16

DrSeth, its cold comfort I know but just because you've had no matches as yet doesn't mean there hasn't been plenty of women swiping right for you, its just that you didn't fancy them. I wouldn't put a lot of work into my profile tbh, just let fate do its thing 😊

StillDrSethHazlittMD Mon 06-Jun-16 11:16:37

Oh yes, good photos, good bio. But yes, I don't find myself swiping right very often. Quite seldom in fact. I'm not stupid, I know I am not going to appeal to someone stunning looking, so I'm not swiping right to people that are obviously not going to be happy with average me!

Your comments about bios is interesting, LadyStark, as I can honestly say 90% of females don't seem to have any info in their bio and as you rightly say, I need to know there might be some mutual interest. Similarly, the number of profiles with no photo, or just some cliched phrase, or only photos with a group of friends (so, which one is you, precisely) is also higher than I would expect.

ivykaty44 Mon 06-Jun-16 11:25:40

Have a read of this dr and it should help
Use app regular and don't swipe left to much

StillDrSethHazlittMD Mon 06-Jun-16 12:19:09

Katy I do use it daily but I just don't see the point of swiping right if you've looked through five or six photos and don't find them attractive. If you swipe right more often just so Tindr doesn't find you too fussy and you get more matches but actually aren't interested in any of them, what do you say? "Oops, sorry I swiped you by accident"? Just doesn't seem right and unfair on the other person/people.

Don't we always say on MN that it's a good thing not to settle and it's a good thing to know what you want and to be fussy when it comes to dating? Why should Tinder be different?

I do think, like any online dating app or site, a huge amount depends on where you live. With Tinder, just because YOU are searching for women between, say 30 and 40, who live within a 35-mile radius, I believe it shows you all of them - it doesn't filter out those women who are only searching in 10-mile radius. So you can be swiping right to women who won't ever see you because of how they have their settings.

guestroom1234 Mon 06-Jun-16 14:36:41

A male here and long time lurker ... my first post so here goes

I met my current partner of 13 months on Tinder.. Would agree with the posters above.. give it a go. You do get some crazy ones on there but no different from real life really grin ... there are some fantastic people on the app though and the beauty of it is that you can take your time in weeding out the unsuitables!!

Good luck!!!

ivykaty44 Mon 06-Jun-16 15:08:37


You said though in your first post that you swip left to stunningly attractive woman...? I guess these are woman that you find stunning, so why would you not swipe right?

Why do that?

StillDrSethHazlittMD Mon 06-Jun-16 15:22:11

Katy Because I am totally realistic about myself! Unlike so many people in the world of online dating, it seems.

There are two thoughts that go through my head when I see someone stunningly attractive on Tinder.

1) The likelihood of someone that stunning needing to use Tinder is extremely unlikely. Therefore, they are almost certainly fake and wanting you to sign up to their Instagram or whatever.
2) Would I approach that woman on a night out? If the answer is no, because she's "way out of my league" then I'm not going to do the same on Tinder.

Oh, and I have noticed that while many don't have bios, a lot of those that do, or who only have one piece of info on their bio, say "no men under 6ft as I like wearing heels". I'm 5ft 10, so....

bottletops Mon 06-Jun-16 15:40:56

Stilldr.... Love the way you have basically said every woman on tinder isn't extremely stunning whilst on a post about who's using tinder lol. Some women go on it because their busy lives don't allow them to meet guys outside their workplaces. I know several 'stunning girls' on it who are genuinely looking for mr right and use it as a starting point to find someone that they would like to meet up with in real life.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: