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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Is this ok?

15 replies

SweetElizaRose · 04/06/2016 03:32

Dh was very annoyed at me tonight as apparently my MH issues are 'fucking everything up.' He went on for a while and said that if I ended up being so unwell I needed to be admitted he'd make sure he ruined my parents lives and would never allow them to see the children again. He said if I was going to fuck everything up then he would fuck everything up for people I loved. Then he grabbed my by the arm and dragged me across the kitchen. He was really frightening actually.

Is this just what happens when people get very stressed? it really upset me. Particularly the thing re my parents and ruining their lives.

OP posts:

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seven201 · 04/06/2016 04:01

No of course that is not ok! Is he drunk or anything? Can you go stay somewhere else tonight? Is it bad enough to need to call the police?

Beefles · 04/06/2016 04:12

This is abuse. He is abusing you and using your mental health issues against you. Please take the kids and call someone. I'm sure there is a 24 hour line where you can get advice on this. He cannot use your mental health against you. He's made it sound like he is unwell mentally too and willing to emotionally abuse the kids and other people, including your family. He may be stressed but this is way too far. Threats like that will only make your MH worse. It won't make it go away. I'm sorry he is doing this to you xx

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 04/06/2016 05:22

Love, in the nicest possible way - how many more of these threads are you going to start before you understand that your P is a deeply abusive arsehole?

Costacoffeeplease · 04/06/2016 06:32

This is the guy who wouldn't let you take ADs when you were prescribed them?

Does he think that helped your MH?

I think your MH problems will improve when you get as far away from him as you can - tell someone, HV, GP - someone who can help you leave, or ring women's aid

ApostrophesMatter · 04/06/2016 06:35

Costa is right. Get away from this bully.

Kr1stina · 04/06/2016 07:03

Eliza - have you been told before that your H is abusive ?

WellErrr · 04/06/2016 07:06

Of course it's not ok.

SweetElizaRose · 04/06/2016 07:18

It was the worst he's been. He was so angry. He's said he's not having any of my friends or family in the house.

OP posts:

SaltyMyDear · 04/06/2016 07:22

Poor love.

This is not ok. He is abusing you.

If you leave him you will be strong enough to cope. You are a strong capable woman.

Resilience16 · 05/06/2016 21:43

No, this is not ok. This is abuse. Your DH is abusive towards you and towards your family.
Please contact Women's aid for practical advice and support to get out of this toxic relationship.You can do it.
You and your kids deserve better.
Hug for you.

ricketytickety · 05/06/2016 21:49

No.

Speak to your health visitor about what he did and said. It's ok to speak to health care professionals in confidence. They need to know what's happening in your home.

You will get there with your mental health. You need support from your family to give you time to recover. Does he tell you not to ask your parents for help?

ricketytickety · 05/06/2016 22:04

What was your life like before he was in it?

goddessofsmallthings · 05/06/2016 22:10

Being physically and emotionally abused by an aggressive twunt is not conducive to your mental wellbeing, Eliza.

He seems intent on fucking you up as much as he can, but you can put an end to this undesirable situation by speaking out to others and beginning the process of reclaiming your power.

Find your nearest Women's Aid service here //www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ and give them a call tomorrow

If you're not willing to break this cycle of abuse for yourself, put your dcs needs before your own and do it for them.

lifeissweet · 05/06/2016 22:14

Your mental health issues are not doing anything to him. They are making life impossible for you. They are creating a fog that makes it difficult to see how abused you are. They are keeping you captive because you can't see the wood for the trees and can't emotionally handle standing up and taking control.

Which is exactly why he can do this to you.

You need to run. And get help and support from professionals. You need time away to get stable.

I almost guarantee that in no time at all you will be shocked at how you have been treated and will realise how very wrong it is.

Good luck.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 06/06/2016 11:40

Your husband is a vicious hateful arsehole, and you should be on the phone to the police over the arm pulling. Meanwhile, have an unmumsnetty hug.

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