After being single for over 2 years, I've recently tried out online dating. I met up for a coffee with one man, who was nice but there was no spark. I then took a short break and have been texting another man I met online. He seems nice and we've arranged to meet for coffee on Sunday but I'm having mass anxiety about it and it's taking all of my strength not to cancel.
I think it's partly because I'm scared of being in a relationship again. I'm in my late 20s and have been single since my last LTR which ended very badly. We were planning to get married when he said out of the blue that the relationship wasn't working and he wanted to end it. I then found out he had been cheating and the OW was pregnant. I moved back in with my parents and it's taken me a long time to get over everything. I still feel like I'm in a fog sometimes, just going through life without any interest in anyone. I can honestly say I haven't fancied anyone since my ex. I have problems with anxiety and depression anyway so I'm not sure if that's masking it but I'm happy to be single, although I don't want to be single forever.
The man I'm speaking to at the moment is worrying me because he seems far too keen. He's 2 years younger than me and seems a bit immature. He's the type who wants to have text conversations which last all day, from the moment he gets up to the moment he goes to sleep. He treats me like a good friend already, telling me how his day at work is and what he's up to etc. This is very weird to me as I still regard him as a total stranger - we haven't met and I would have been happy to stop texting when we'd arranged to meet and save the chat for then. I don't always reply to his messages but he just follows it up with another the next day. When I told him I live with family but my life is still independent as I do everything for myself, he said "it should be the other way around! My parents do everything for me when I go home."
I just feel confused and need perspective. Do you think I'm over reacting by wanting to cancel and talking myself out of this meeting because of my anxiety? Or should I meet him and see how it goes, as it could be what I need to move on? It could be the start of a good relationship and I don't want to sabotage it if that's the case.
Does anyone else feel like this about online dating? Happy to arrange to meet one minute then worrying and wanting to cancel the next?
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Online dating anxiety
8 replies
bonjournono · 03/06/2016 19:43
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