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I've done something really, really stupid and now I'm shit scared

(55 Posts)
ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 20:50:18

NC regular poster but I'm so ashamed of how stupid I've been. I was drunk last night but that is no excuse, I honestly don't know why I did it, lonely and horney is my best bet.

I've been a single mum for 10 months now (thankfully DC is with their dad for the half term and this coming weekend) I don't get out at all what with DC and work and general lacking of friends and cash.

I logged on to one of the OLD sites I occasionally log onto, not really had much luck there either. I was quite drunk and it was late and I started talking dirty with a supposedly local guy and I gave him my address!!!

Of all the most stupid things to do and now I'm terrified he is going to turn up. I've locked all the doors and not turned front of house lights on...

I'm such an idiot. I've managed 10 months of no drunken text messages to ex and not showing myself up and then I go and do this.

I'm never going to be able to sleep again sad angry at myself.

DistanceCall Thu 02-Jun-16 20:54:44

Yes, that was stupid. You'll have to be alert for a couple of months. But don't pretend no one lives there. If someone turns up, don't open, pretend you're someone else and you have no idea what he is talking about. And if he persists, call the police to frighten him off.

DistanceCall Thu 02-Jun-16 20:58:11

Also, if your name is on the letter box or anywhere visible from outside, remove it.

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 21:00:59

Oh shit. I thought about sending a message explains I was drunk and didn't mean to send that information?

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 21:01:37


DistanceCall Thu 02-Jun-16 21:03:35

Well, if you send that message you're confirming that that is indeed your address.

DistanceCall Thu 02-Jun-16 21:04:12

Did you send any pictures of yourself? Can he recognise you?

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 21:07:15

No, no pictures and of course sending that message is confirmation, I'm such an idiot, thank you for helping flowers

DistanceCall Thu 02-Jun-16 21:09:10

Don't beat yourself up too much - we've all done stupid things at some point. And it's probably rather unlikely that he'll turn up. But if he does, just pretend you have no idea what he is talking about.

twolittleboysonetiredmum Thu 02-Jun-16 21:09:12

I would hope he's a normal person (most people are) message and say sorry, you were drunk, please just forget it ever happened. Just in case he thinks you're up for a ONS etc and turns up.

Klaptout Thu 02-Jun-16 21:09:32

You know it was a daft thing to do, tell him you were very drunk last night, so drunk in fact that you gave him great uncle Derek's address.
Derek's a nice bloke you just wish he spent less time cage fighting and more time looking after his guard dogs.

Redisthenewblack Thu 02-Jun-16 21:11:05

Klapout grin

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 21:29:48

I shouldn't be in the mood for laughing but grin Klapout that is a brilliant idea.

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 21:37:42

Oh, He has sent a message saying he has bought condoms and was thinking about me whilst standing in the queue.

Do I send what twolittleboys wrote or is that validating my address like Distance said?

I know we all make mistakes but I'm really frightened.

BigFatBirdFromBirmingham Thu 02-Jun-16 21:38:17

Buy yourself a party vicars vest & collar for when he comes. grin

ScarlettSahara Thu 02-Jun-16 21:39:37

Like Klapout's suggestion. Answer the door on the chain and if you feel vulnerable shout out "Derek you are not expecting anyone are you?"
Then say -Sorry he probably can't hear me in the shower/ with his headphones on but you must have been given the wrong address."

SoleBizzz Thu 02-Jun-16 21:39:52

Don't send him any confirmation just block him.

BigFatBirdFromBirmingham Thu 02-Jun-16 21:43:50

Turn the lights off & don't answer the door if he comes around.

ScarlettSahara Thu 02-Jun-16 21:45:07

Just seen your last post. Yes I would just block him now.

Czerny88 Thu 02-Jun-16 21:47:11

Just send him a message saying that you're sorry but you've changed your mind. The chances of him being an axe-wielding maniac are slim to zero, and although it was possibly a bit daft to give him your address, it's not as if you've had a key cut for him.

Run a bath, have a glass of wine and calm down! In the extremely unlikely event that he comes round and hammers on your door or is threatening in some way, call the police.

Snazarooney Thu 02-Jun-16 21:48:23

Tell him you have a husband and a child?

Fidelia Thu 02-Jun-16 21:48:37

So does your profile have your picture on it? If so, is there any way to make yourself look different? (Glasses, different hairstyle, take off all your make up) in case he does come over, so then you can pretend not to know who he's talking about?

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Thu 02-Jun-16 21:48:48

I've just re read our messages last night blush I had a bit of a wobble during them and he said no point continuing if I wasn't sure/freaked out, it must be something I really want to do.

Do you think if I just ignore the last couple of messages he will take the hint?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 02-Jun-16 21:51:25

He might. If he seems like a normal guy, just tell him you've changed your mind. Most people aren't scary maniacs.

I'd message him because I'd find that less stressful than waiting for him to appear, but if you'll find it easier to block and ignore him, do that.

Finola1step Thu 02-Jun-16 21:53:31

Block him. Remove your profile. Remove anything outside your home that suggests that a woman and dc live there.

Tomorrow morning, head down to your local charity shop. Buy a pair of men's boots/work boots/walking shoes in a big size. Buy them to put on your doorstep or somewhere very visible. You want to give the message that "a big bloke lives here".

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