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Do I leave with nothing?

(11 Posts)
Foodbabie Thu 02-Jun-16 05:06:24

Hi there

Id like some advice on how to go about leaving my relationship please. We are not legally married and currently live together with DD 2 yrs old.
Iv been with him since late 2013 I got pregnant early and had DD and so iv been at home most of our "marriage". Over the time we have had some good times but he has also been emotionally and somewhat financially abusive plus messaging other women and going on marriage sites claiming to be single and live alone.

Although he has payed of a couple of small debts and bought a cheap car for me to run around in under £1500. I only have 300£ in my acc while he has the 60,000+ in the savings acc ready for a mortgage for us and proof of earnings because he is self employed.

I don't really want to get a mortgage with him I won't be on it anyway for the start of the mortgage and I'm not sure we'll last that long because I want out.

I'm just wondering if I have any right to some of the money saved over the course of us being together and me staying at home with DD which we both agreed to because we didn't want DD at nursery at such a young age. I know I probably don't but if so how do I go about it. Do I just leave with nothing?

He has been able to save because of living in an inherited house on my side of the family and no rent being payed plus on £35,000-£40,000 salary. Plus £2,000 jobs at least 5 times or more a yr.

However I don't have access to the savings. Legally they aren't mine really. I just feel so used and abused and want to leave but I don't know how to go about it. I also feel stupid and just a bit shitty overall. Any help will do please thanks

Atenco Thu 02-Jun-16 05:20:46

From what I have learnt from mumsnet, in the UK you are only entitled to child maintenance and what is in your name, unless you are married, OP.

VimFuego101 Thu 02-Jun-16 05:22:48

As the PP said, you are not married so have very few rights to anything other than half the funds in joint accounts.

Thattimeofyearagain Thu 02-Jun-16 05:29:02

Is the savings account in joint names?

whattodoforthebest2 Thu 02-Jun-16 05:35:26

Is the house in your name? If you don't have rent to pay and its in your name, you can ask him to leave. He has enough savings to find himself somewhere else to live straight away.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Thu 02-Jun-16 06:13:43

No, you aren't entitled I'm afraid. Time to get him out of your inherited house and get a job flowers

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 02-Jun-16 07:43:58

No, you have no rights to that money. You have 100% rights over your house though and can kick him out whenever you like (and get lodger to help pay the bills if you want). He will still have to pay child maintenance to support his child but you'll have to get a job or benefits to support yourself.

I'd say, get your financial plan sorted first. Can you get a job and child care sorted? Start saving Iike mad. Do a benefits checker and get CMS info.

Is he planning on selling your inherited house to help buy the next house? Don't do that obviously. You could sell it yourself and buy a smaller place to free up some cash for you and the DC.

Yes, you were a bit stupid to become a SAHM without the protection of marriage. Still, you've got a house and you've not been out of the job market long and toddlers often love nursery. You'll probably be fine once he's not living under the same roof as you.

"Leaving" with a house isn't leaving with nothing.

Cabrinha Thu 02-Jun-16 07:46:14

He's emotionally and financially abusive and cheats on you (message other women online is cheating just in itself and may have led to sex that you don't know about too). And you only think it won't last? confused

Go and see a solicitor to be absolutely sure on your rights. Then kick him out of your life.

I very much doubt you're entitled to a single penny - they are his savings in his name. On the bright side, he also shouldn't be entitled to a penny of your house. Which is lucky, because you'd have pissed away that inheritance if you had married this creep.

See solicitor.
Photocopy the proof of earnings as I expect he'll be massaging those when it comes to CMS payments.
End this shitty relationship.
Stay out of any more until you have worked out why you were prepared to put up with this shit.
Don't choose to have children quickly next time.
Don't allow a financial set up (him keeping all his savings) that disadvantages you next time.

magoria Thu 02-Jun-16 07:52:19

You are not entitled to his savings.

However the inherited house is your family side and yours. Unless you have done something to have the house given to him or he can prove he has paid for parts and is entitled to a % it is yours and he has no rights over that and you can ask him to leave.

Like others say a house is more than £60k towards a more gad.

NerrSnerr Thu 02-Jun-16 08:34:46

You won't be entitled to his savings but the house is yours. Are the deeds just in your name?

IlikePercyPig Thu 02-Jun-16 08:45:22

You're entitled to nothing, I hope he isn't on the deeds of the house.

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