My husband is emotionally/verbally abusive and try's to control me, the thing is l have let him. I need help to form an exit plan.
We have been married nearly 9 years have a 4yo and a 6 month old. We are not happy because he won't let us be, he brings negativity and anger home with him and we are walking on egg shells.
I don't know what happened but l looked in the mirror last week and l didn't recognise myself l have put on so much weight and have stopped taking care of myself. I was sitting on my bed crying because he had just been screaming in my face that "it was me that wanted children and why we had s second one he doesn't know because l can't cope,l'm a shit mother, he never wanted our daughter" l had 3 miscarriages between my son and my daughter, so to me it's the worst thing he could of said. I say screaming and l mean it there was spit and everything. This isn't a one off occasion either. I was sitting there crying because of the words he had said to me and l felt like l had an out of body experience and a talk with the old me a stronger version of me. It made me stop crying. I actually came on to post but l have bottled out of it 4 times, God knows if l will post this. The thing that started him off was l asked him if he wouldn't mind taking the full washing basket up stairs "didn't l realise he had been to work he shouldn't have to come home and do this".
I have to leave for the sake of my children l grew up in a home were there was violence and emotional/verbal and threatening abuse and l am not going to give my children a life time of memories l have. I have maybe £2000 in savings our house is mortgaged and he has money in a separate account about £50,000 from savings and redundancy. I was made redundant but l have spent it all on the children because he doesn't give me anything for them unless l ask, well feels like begging.
I am so annoyed that l have been taken in by him, before we married l had my own home and money, now l'm scared l will never have my own home again. I have a well paid job and wasn't going to go back till November but l think l need to go back asap to get some money behind me to get away.
Tonight my ds asked if we could go out before daddy came home, what have l done to my poor little boy.
How do l get out of this?
What do l need?
I have been looking at home to rent not far from ds's school.
What will happen with the house?
I can't afford to pay half a mortgage, rent and childcare fee's.
In January l started for some bizarre reason saving all the abusive message he wasted texting me from another room, my sister knows about what is going on but told me to take it easy on him because his mums in a care home, l should of known after our childhood she would of had this reaction, even after she heard him screaming at me. I also have recordings of him having one of his tantrums too,
I'm so sorry this is long, l'm feeding my little one and she is worth so much more than putting up with this from him.
I think l will phone women's aid in the morning or is that just for violence?
I think I need help forming my action plan to escape. I am being brave, l am going to press create this time.
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It's like the fog has lifted.
41 replies
Onetoetree · 02/06/2016 01:28
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