I'm almost hoping so. This is a parental thing, but against a backdrop of my own mental health troubles and a marriage that is struggling - I'm not sure if I'm conflating everything into catastrophic thinking. If not, I'm going to feel even more abandoned and let down. It's an AIBU really, but a bit too personal. I namechanged too.
A few weeks ago, I talked to my parents about an offer they had made to have my children to stay for a week to give me time to get some jobs done. They seemed pleased about it - their original offer and a chance for them to spend time with the kids and help out. I was very grateful (and said so), if a little nervous - it's the first time apart from my kids for more than a night and thy are quite small. It will really help me a lot and I've been excited and eager for it.
Anyway, in a phonecall a couple of days ago, my mum told me they couldn't do the week arranged any more because she'd agreed to do something for another sibling. It's a kind thing, and part of a way they help them out most weeks - this is an extra bit. Don't want to post identifying details, but the timing is unfortunate. She wants to do the week after instead. Which we can't. In fact, losing these dates means it will be months. I'd been relying on this time, getting ready for it. I made it clear that I was disappointed, and that the kids would be too, then needed to end the phonecall. She said she'd call that evening. No call.
They don't really know how bad my mental health is or how much my marriage is struggling. I've hinted, but to me, it seems that they have little patience with my depression and consider me lazy and difficult. I know they love me, but I don't think they like me. They do know I needed this help and said they were glad I had asked for once.
We live hours apart and I feel like, and they say they feel like, we don't see each other enough. The rest of my siblings are local, and they all see each other a lot. I'm jealous of that. I have no equivalent family help nearby. We go to stay with my parents 2-3 times a year, usually for 5-7 days. I've also encouraged them to come and stay. That doesn't happen though - always a reason, something "essential" they have to stay near home - other visitors going to stay, or somewhere they have to help out (although others are happy to cover for them or manage). Previously they've called wanting to stay last-minute because of business in my city - never for long past the occasion they needed to attend though. I feel pretty used about that. I don't know if they do too.
I feel so ridiculously let down and upset. I can't even talk to my husband about it. It's triggered a whole load of feeling like everything else matters more to my parents than me, and complete sadness for my kids. Either I'm over-reacting, and this is just another of those things that will pass and we will never properly talk about it, or they have really let me down because they really do just care about other things more and that will never change. My depression is strong at the moment, and I don't know if it is colouring my judgement. What do you think?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Reasonable to be this upset?
12 replies
HidingI · 31/05/2016 22:42
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.