I rarely see my parents at the moment. I live a 2.5 hr + drive away and they haven't been able to travel to see me for the last year so I go and visit when I can (maybe 3 times a year).
Last time I was there something happened that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I have my valuables in my old room at my parent's house. I am in rented accommodation whilst finishing a course and will be moving again in less than a year. I try to sort out what I can when I am there. I found out this time that my parents have let my brother take what he wants from my room to his house (he moved out recently at 30, has a job, is in rented accommodation but boasts that he has a lot of money in the bank for buying a house). He even has his own of what he took, but in his words "yours is better".
I got angry at finding this out and asked how my parents could watch him do this. We have a long history together as he is incredibly entitled and selfish and my parents have mollycoddled him. My parents were still doing all his cooking, washing, ironing and cleaning for him until he moved out, FFS. I got told that I was making a fuss and that it "wasn't worth falling out over".
I have not made contact since then and my mum finally called me today (3 weeks later), breezily chatting away like nothing had happened. I told her that actually, I'm pretty upset at what has happened and that it has just topped off some pretty shitty behaviour of his towards me over the last few years.
My mother started crying. Telling me to think of the bigger picture. Laying on the guilt trip that I am a terrible daughter. Just got a text from my father (who as an aside has the ability to turn the atmosphere cold with a change of his mood, and frequently does) asking me "how could you make your mother cry?" "I hope you're pleased with yourself".
Sorry for rambling, but I have learnt that I should never raise any feelings that I have to them as it will be turned around to make me seem like a terrible person and my brother will come out of it shining.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Beginning to see how toxic my parents are
GetSomeGumption · 30/05/2016 22:46
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