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when people try to destroy all your relationships ...

(19 Posts)
secondhoneymoon Mon 30-May-16 22:34:11

..... Can't say too much in case of outing ..... But just so sad that life can't be as straight forward as it should be

Trills Mon 30-May-16 22:40:53

You have my sympathy that you have people like this in your life.

Would it be possible for you to NOT have these people in your life?

That's really all anyone can say, unless you do decide to say more.

secondhoneymoon Sat 04-Jun-16 13:42:30

Thanks Trills just needed to vent. It's complicated, but too easily identifiable if I say more. Feel better just for shouting about it in here X

springydaffs Sat 04-Jun-16 14:14:15

You could disguise the story? It's not hard - I never tell the actual facts, just the core facts iyswim.

Plus the entire world isn't on MN. HOnest wink

daisychain01 Sat 04-Jun-16 14:18:45

I don't see how a 3rd party can destroy a relationship you have with someone, at least not if your relationship is worth fighting for and both are committed

Ok they can try, but wouldn't get far if the relationship is strong enough.

All said without knowing any facts. But if it helps to write it all down on here, then that's what matters!

springydaffs Sat 04-Jun-16 15:05:44

A third person can definitely destroy your relationship.

No relationship is invulnerable. If there is a toxic bod about who is set on destroying your relationship/s it is surprising how successful that bod can be.

t-shirt and all that.

oabiti Sat 04-Jun-16 18:04:56

Agreed, springydaffs

lavenderhoney Sat 04-Jun-16 19:56:37

Only you and your partner can allow that to happen. What are you perceiving as a destructive influence? It's a bit hard to say without info- could be any dynamic.

springydaffs Sat 04-Jun-16 20:20:00

Relationships - all relationships - go through tough patches.

That's usually when the toxic bod strikes, waiting their chance.

secondhoneymoon Sat 04-Jun-16 21:20:37

Wasn't about the relationship with my partner, that is ok. It's other friendships/ relationships. To do with her insecurities and petty jealousy. Have never experienced anything like it. Heartbreaking.

foxykins Sat 04-Jun-16 22:00:05

Is the person an undiagnosed borderline? Look up the diagnostic criteria. It's very common 1/25 and yes they do deliberately try (and succeed) in emotionally financially socially destroying anyone they cannot control/ feel abandoned by.

Even taking said party to court countless times with no cases purely to cause distress & suffering & financial costs

Sympathies

zippyswife Sat 04-Jun-16 22:02:14

I have this going on right now. I actually have been feeling like I'm the only one that this is happening too. I've been wanting to post for a couple of years but feel it's too identifying.

This person is ruining all my
Relationships- has her teeth into my
Brother, sister in law, friends. I came off Facebook this week so I can be a bit more removed from what she is doing. It's nearly giving me a mental
Breakdown.

So... I know
What you're going through.

secondhoneymoon Sun 05-Jun-16 19:56:04

Sounds so familiar Zippy's wife and very hard to explain to anyone else why you 'let' it happen

zippyswife Sun 05-Jun-16 20:41:54

I let it happen because I think everyone would think I was crazy if I told them what she was doing. I think it would backfire and she'd come out the "injured party" which would be the final nail in the coffin for me.

secondhoneymoon Sun 05-Jun-16 21:18:22

Yes I recognise a lot of that. Not a nice place to be is it?

zippyswife Mon 06-Jun-16 10:13:33

No. She is a family member so it's made worse.

GarlicSteak Mon 06-Jun-16 12:11:59

Are you two being Wendied or is this more about an individual trying to cut off everyone else so they have you all by yourself?

guestroom1234 Mon 06-Jun-16 14:52:40

We have had a similar experience ourselves but on my GFs side... very toxic family members who have tried to blackmail her plus threaten her with losing her job over a fight with certain family members around 2 years ago...

Very sad especially when its coming from people who you think should be supportive and close to you.

As other posters have suggested is there any chance of you limiting contact with the other party (no phone, FB, Whatsapp etc) or explaining to people who you can trust what is going on?

zippyswife Mon 06-Jun-16 17:42:09

There's a fair bit of wendying going on here. I only recently told my
Mum about it. It's the first time I've mentioned it to anyone. It is pure crazy. And I actually think this will be it forever as we are family and I can't tell family members as I think I would come across as the crazy one. She's the girl who has everything (on the surface) wealth beauty amazing husband and kids. I would appear jealous. She's completely unhinged and calculating. It's like ruining me and turning people away from me is her life work!! Honestly. Insane.

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