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What would you think?

(40 Posts)
smarti08 Mon 30-May-16 21:53:40

My husband has been working with a woman for the past four months. I have met her on two occasions and she seems very chatty. He tells me that she is the type of person who is willing to share all the private details of her life with anybody. She on the face of it seems like a decent enough girl. Apparently she is having relationship problems and has confided in my husband. She has text him on two occasions around 4am to tell him she won't be able to come into work (he is her line manager).
He has called her on twice at 6.30 am to make sure she is up for work, this weekend he sent her a text saying "I'm going to be out for an hour or so if you want to talk" she replied "he's here he's not working" . My husbands explanation was that he feels sorry for her because she is having a tough time at home with her current partner. We have been married for 8years and I have never questioned his fidelity before. Never had cause. What do you think? Am I reading too much into this?

LucySnow12 Mon 30-May-16 22:12:16

I think boundaries are being crossed.

mayneverhireAnannyagain Mon 30-May-16 22:25:13

I agree, even if there is nothing going on between them, it is definitely inappropriate work-wise

Greenandmighty Mon 30-May-16 23:36:49

I agree, it sounds inappropriate given that he's her manager. Did your H show you the text he sent or did you find it? Why are they texting each other about her personal life? I think you should make it quite clear that it's unacceptable.

Gide Mon 30-May-16 23:41:13

What time do they start work that she's texting at 4am? Definitely a bit too familiar.

smarti08 Mon 30-May-16 23:42:51

He starts at 7 and she starts at 8

Doinmummy Mon 30-May-16 23:45:44

This sounds like the beginning of an emotional affair. I'd have a talk with DH and would not accept the 'feels sorry for her' line .

smarti08 Tue 31-May-16 00:05:34

Can I ask what does DH stand for?

AnyFucker Tue 31-May-16 00:08:28

Your Darling Husband is embarking on a rescue mission for the fair maiden

In other words, he is embarking on on affair

It might not be too late for him to realise his huge mistake

Why haven't you played holy hell ?

smarti08 Tue 31-May-16 04:27:59

I have spoken to him at length about this, and funny enough a have said everything in the above comments. Do you think I should mark her card?

CookieDoughKid Tue 31-May-16 05:16:37

Yes. I would.

Scarydinosaurs Tue 31-May-16 05:19:00

Mark HIS card. She has no reason to be loyal to you.

Baconyum Tue 31-May-16 05:20:12

Yes! I would mark both their bloody cards!

Totally inappropriate. In addition as she's crap at keeping things to herself he's risking his job.

LineyReborn Tue 31-May-16 05:24:35

How did you come to see the text messages?

LateNightEveningProstitute Tue 31-May-16 06:15:15

Yes, mark his card. She isn't relevant in all of this. She might actually just be offloading on someone who is willing to be offloaded on and not be looking for anything more than a bit of support, at all.

Especially if he's older than her. Which I'm guessing he probably is...

Doinmummy Tue 31-May-16 08:50:58

She's definitely NOT just looking for someone to offload to .

DoreenLethal Tue 31-May-16 08:53:56

He has called her on twice at 6.30 am to make sure she is up for work

So he is either fucking her or harassing her. Nice.

Baconyum Tue 31-May-16 08:55:31

I agree I'm sure there's any number of other people she could offload to.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 31-May-16 08:58:07

I'd go ballistic if my line manager checked if I was up for work! And she hasn't?

Mark his card - she's nothing to you

Doinmummy Tue 31-May-16 09:10:50

If he hasn't been already Op , he will certainly have been unfaithful in his head . Sorry

HandyWoman Tue 31-May-16 09:29:24

Clearly boundaries are being crossed: texting at 4:30? Him checking at 6:30 she's ready for work? They can only talk when the partners are not around?? Oh come on.....

Read him the riot act.

LateNightEveningProstitute Tue 31-May-16 10:06:12

She might be looking for someone to offload to.

If he is her manager and she is much younger. It might not even have occurred to her that he fancies her. Not all women go through life preying on other women's husbands and assuming all men fancy them!

smarti08 Tue 31-May-16 10:14:05

There is about 4 years between them

smarti08 Tue 31-May-16 11:09:17

LateNightEveningProstitute...I think this one knows exactly what she is doing. I should add it's a construction site, she would change into her running gear and do her warm ups outside the site office. She lives approx. 15 miles away from site and I always thought that a bit odd !

Scarydinosaurs Tue 31-May-16 20:36:43

smarti you sound fixated on blaming the woman, and not acknowledging the 'weirdness' of your own married husband's role in this.

She could easily report him for harrasment- or leave and then go to an employment tribunal. Your husband is behaving like an absolute prick.

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