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If a relationship keeps nearly ending, best just to end it, right?

(14 Posts)
stomachinknots Mon 30-May-16 11:40:40

Have you ever been in a relationship that kept coming around to the same point of nearly ending but then you stepped back from the brink and gave it yet another go?

Does that ever end well? Like, did you end up staying together and being glad you did?

In one now. I hope it will all resolve itself because the love is there.
What are the reasons your relationship is struggling?

Costacoffeeplease Mon 30-May-16 11:46:06

Why does it nearly keep ending, and why does it carry on?

Chatarunga Mon 30-May-16 11:58:26

If you think it's only fear preventing you from accepting the inevitable, then I'd say yes.

wafflesplenty Mon 30-May-16 12:11:33

I'm in one now.

Classic can't live with, can't live without situation.

Never loved anyone so much in my life.

Our lifestyles are totally different,
Massive age gap.

Potentially we are awesome & we have spells of awesome which stops us giving up..

I know he feels the same as he tries to leave me & can't go through with it.

We are on a permanent roller coaster,

Highs, lows...

I want him gone, he wants to go.

Never happens.

Longest time apart bar a couple of one nighters was almost 3 years & I genuinely thought we were finally through.

I was wrong.

I think I am happy to accept the way things are as its better than not being together at all...

stomachinknots Mon 30-May-16 12:43:05

15 yr marriage -- divorce has been discussed several times in the last few years. We're on the brink of going through with it right now, but my (STBX?)W seems to be having second thoughts. Two kids, so stakes are high.

BelloBrianBadonde Mon 30-May-16 12:52:53

Depends what the issues are in the relationship. Sometimes more communication is needed, what are you lacking, what is the other person lacking. Can these things be worked at and things be resolved? Discussion is needed when emotions are not flying high (e.g after an argument). No long term relationship is smooth sailing.

brodchengretchen Mon 30-May-16 14:29:39

Yes, for sure, IME it will be like lancing a boil. I wasted two years doing what you're doing now. grin

pocketsaviour Mon 30-May-16 14:33:26

Have you seen a counsellor, separately or together? What are the issues - has one of you done something horrible, or are you just fed up of each other?

repeatingpatterns Mon 30-May-16 14:39:19

Yes, am in one at the moment. I love him to bits, but I don't know if I can live for the rest of my life with his weaknesses. When it's good, it's just fab, and it's good a lot of the time. But when those recurring issues rear their very ugly heads, it makes me doubt everything.

It's not a roller coaster - I couldn't live like that. But there are fundamental differences in our outlook that could ruin us, and we both know it. We are working on it and time will tell. Not too much time, though...

misszp Tue 31-May-16 10:45:40

six year relationship where this happened numerous times.

We just kept opening up the same old wounds every time we fell back off the wagon. Loved each other to the ends of the earth, but we were fundamentally not right for each other, and whilst we both tried to compromise, the same issues kept rearing their heads. We split. It has been HARD, but I feel grounded and life is consistent now, as I am not constantly up and down.

It really depends on what the issues are, why they keep arising, are you both willing to work at it, can these situations be resolved to a point where you have compromised and are both still happy, as well as the children?

YoureSoSlyButSoAmI Tue 31-May-16 10:47:57

Gosh. Drama drama drama. Personally I think it's the excitement people are hooked on rather than each other.

SuperFlyHigh Tue 31-May-16 10:48:49

I know a friend in one, I'm sure he's cheated and is cheating, she is now cheating... 7 years... She has her own issues re work and not working and being dependent on him. Tough.

SuperFlyHigh Tue 31-May-16 10:50:03

Youre this friend every 5 minutes she'll text me or her friend "oh me and xxx are over again", fast forward 2 weeks same again, gets really boring like boy who cried wolf!

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