Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Advice needed

(17 Posts)
user1464500629 Sun 29-May-16 21:21:55

There is 2 people i know that have had a baby together but they are no longer together. And the mother is making difficult for the father to see the child on his own. She says she has concerns which she wont herself say what they are? She lets her mother answer. They both believe that a mothers bond is grater than a fathers and using it against him and the mother hasnt put the father on the birth certificate and claim the where adviced not to . if anyone from the fathers family want to see the child they have to got to her house so she can gain trust which all have had their own children. When the father decided to take the mother to court she started throwing serious aligations against him which have all come to nothing, it was court orded that the father had supervised access from her which she turned up and said no to. Also they both met up recently to agree an arrangement but the father felt attacked as the mother and her mother used the time to put him down left right and Center and they want to stop court proceedings the mother of the child put down what she wanted and it had a no time scale to it no mention of parental responsibility which he wants and at the bottom she put if court stops you can have this, so he amended it to his needs put a time scale to it holiday entitlement and parental responsibility which she didn't agree to also because she refused to go to the supervised access it was arranged that on another day the father was aloud to take the child out anywhere which she hasn't stuck to that either. I would just like abit of advice if anyone has been in similar situation

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Sun 29-May-16 21:24:41

What is it to you? Unless you're the father or the mother there isn't much you can do, so why do you want advice?

honeyandmarmitesandwiches Sun 29-May-16 21:35:16

I haven't been in that situation, it sounds messy. Who are these people to you, are you close to them? Either way it's not your situation to get involved in, I really wouldn't tbh.
In terms of advice for the father I would say he needs to pursue parental responsibility and access etc through the courts, it doesn't sound as if the mum is willing to negotiate fairly outside of the official channels.
You say she made serious allegations about him, do you know that these were false? Maybe there's a good reason for her behaviour.

NewtoCornland Sun 29-May-16 21:38:40

user please. STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD.

How about you sort your own issues out before getting involved in anybody else's, there's a good boy.

WellErrr Sun 29-May-16 21:42:45

I'd love to hear the mother's side.

Are you the father?

It's perfectly reasonable to want people to get to know a baby before they are allowed to take it away from the mother - in fact most normal people would want that, especially if they've had their own.

And if a court ordered supervised access only then that says a lot.

WellErrr Sun 29-May-16 21:43:55

Father or father's new girlfriend, I should have said.

NewtoCornland Sun 29-May-16 21:48:31

Oooo wellerr is this a different user? Have I just made a slip?

WellErrr Sun 29-May-16 21:50:19

No idea, haven't seen this poster before - I'm just assuming as they seem quite involved.

NewtoCornland Sun 29-May-16 22:00:27

Just did an AS and it appears to be a different poster...apologies, as you were blush

kerbys Sun 29-May-16 22:05:01

Very unfortunate for user if it's not the previous user.

It'll soon become obvious I expect.

NewtoCornland Sun 29-May-16 22:08:00

Ah kerbys you know who I'm thinking of. Sincerest apologies if I'm wrong.

Gazelda Sun 29-May-16 22:09:07

The father needs to keep a record, and be prepared to take this back to court.

CalleighDoodle Sun 29-May-16 22:14:05

Im assumig father's new girlfriend too...

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Mon 30-May-16 05:35:05

Defo dad's new girlfriend!

OP, this really isn't anything to do with you, I wouldn't get involved.

DeathStare Mon 30-May-16 09:28:17

You'd like advice? Ok....

1. Stay out of it. This is not your business. Even if you are the father's friend or girlfriend it is still not your business.

2. Remember that there are two sides to every story and you have only heard one side and been convinced by it. People very rarely retell stories in a way that acknowledges their faults.

Lunar1 Mon 30-May-16 10:30:07

What is your relationship to them?

tudasaurus Mon 30-May-16 10:32:05

How old is the baby?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now