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just walked out. not in the right mind frame.

(22 Posts)
Feelingsolow12345 Sun 29-May-16 13:17:34

me and my OH just had a big argument and I stormed out but had to leave ds behind cause he wouldn't let me leave with him. I said I must be a bad mum as I can't even look after my family keep everyone happy. I just want this to end I can't cope no more. I'm just sitting on the canal wall crying thinking everything would be better without me.

pocketsaviour Sun 29-May-16 13:25:26

I'm sorry you're so upset flowers

Is there anyone you can call and speak to right now? Your mum or dad?

Queenbean Sun 29-May-16 13:28:03

I'm sorry that you're feeling so low, but suicide is a very permenant solution to a temporary problem.

Is there someone in RL you can call to talk to? flowers

Imbroglio Sun 29-May-16 13:30:25

Call Samaritans if you feel at risk to yourself.

timelytess Sun 29-May-16 13:33:05

Your child needs you.
Keeping everyone happy is an impossibility - their happiness is not in your gift.
But, no child wants their parent to commit suicide - don't put that burden of sorrow onto your child.
Struggle on, like the rest of us, we're far from perfect. Post here and people will hold your hand.
Is there anyone you can call?

Imbroglio Sun 29-May-16 13:34:38

I'm sure you are not a bad mum just because you feel overwhelmed and/or have had a big row with your partner.

Perhaps some time out and some air will do you good. Give you some time to calm down and gather your thoughts.

Its ok to have a good cry sometimes.

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 29-May-16 14:04:17

can't talk to people irl they will judge me. I just want what's best for my boy and if that means leaving him with his dad anf not having me then it'll have to be that.

Imbroglio Sun 29-May-16 14:13:14

I'm sure your son loves you and wants to see you.

How old is he?

newtscamander Sun 29-May-16 14:15:17

You need to go to your nearest hospital and speak to a doctor as an emergency. Your child needs you, and you have a lot to give the world. Go and seek help straight away from a professional.

goddessofsmallthings Sun 29-May-16 14:15:22

What was the argument about and how old is your ds?

If you haven't spoken to anyone in rl, how do you know that they will judge you?

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 29-May-16 16:13:53

argument was about everything. he started to pick faults with me so I went "here we go again" and it escalated from that. my son is 19 weeks old.

SandyY2K Sun 29-May-16 16:59:32

Your baby needs you. Please go back home and be with him. Make an appointment with your GP if you're feeling low. Being a new mum is really tough. Don't beat yourself up.

Is your husband helpful with the baby ?

sminkypinky Sun 29-May-16 18:23:37

Hi OP, I felt exactly the same way as you did. It's really hard when you first have a baby, 19 weeks is really early on, it does take a while to adjust to such a major change.

Please go home and be with your DS and make an appointment to see your GP as soon as you can. How you are feeling is really common and they will have heard it before from other mums. They really won't judge you for how you are feeling.

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 29-May-16 21:07:54

sorry for the late update. I ended up going home cuddled my son like crazy. me and DP made up after I broke down in front of him. he told me I need to talk to him more so days like this doesn't happen again. he made me a bath with candles and loads of bubbles. cooked tea for me and pampered me.

he was helpful in his own way. I personally think he could be more helpful but I'm probably just trying to Base it off books I've read. I'm going to book an appointment first thing Tuesday to get myself sorted. I've been put on ad before but I felt like I was constantly high even on the lower dose that's why I stopped taking them.

Momamum Sun 29-May-16 21:24:53

I'm really pleased you're home againsmile. Enjoy cuddling your little one, I'm glad you and your DP have talked and well done with your decision to go to the Drs. Remember to tell them how your last ads made you feel, there are so many others to try, it's not like one size fits all, there'll be something out there in the right dosage to help you. flowers

Feelingsolow12345 Sun 29-May-16 22:30:36

thank you for all your support. I think I would have done something stupid if I didn't talk about it.

SandyY2K Mon 30-May-16 09:33:52

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see ourdomestic violence webguideand/orrelationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

just walked out. not in the right mind frame.16

Yesterday 13:17Feelingsolow12345

me and my OH just had a big argument and I stormed out but had to leave ds behind cause he wouldn't let me leave with him. I said I must be a bad mum as I can't even look after my family keep everyone happy. I just want this to end I can't cope no more. I'm just sitting on the canal wall crying thinking everything would be better without me.

Yesterday 18:23sminkypinky

Hi OP, I felt exactly the same way

he told me I need to talk to him more so days like this doesn't happen again. he made me a bath with candles and loads of bubbles. cooked tea for me and pampered me.

You've got a good man there. Do talk to him like he said. If there are other ways you'd like him to help tell him what they are. Do it calmly and not when you feeling stressed out.

SandyY2K Mon 30-May-16 09:35:53

Sorry about the above post. Came out wrong. Below is what I intended to write.

he told me I need to talk to him more so days like this doesn't happen again. he made me a bath with candles and loads of bubbles. cooked tea for me and pampered me.

You've got a good man there. Do talk to him like he said. If there are other ways you'd like him to help tell him what they are. Do it calmly and not when you feeling stressed out.

Feelingsolow12345 Mon 30-May-16 11:35:50

I really do. my last relationship I couldn't talk or I would have got abused but that was nearly 4 years ago I can't keep living like that

Feelingsolow12345 Wed 01-Jun-16 11:44:04

I've just spoke to one of the HV about how I was feeling the other day as I'm also loosing a lot of hair and she's going to let my HV know how I'm feeling and come and see me.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 01-Jun-16 12:33:07

I'm so pleased you went home and your DH looked after you.
You need some looking after.
Take all the help you can get for now.
You could well have PND so let people help you.
Keep cuddling DS and if your DH could help more then tell him how.

Feelingsolow12345 Wed 01-Jun-16 12:48:42

he's been great since Sunday. he keeps asking me how I am trying to do anything he can to keep me active so I'm not just sitting there over thinking things.

he's been amazing

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