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Left while pregnant.

(9 Posts)
Lopezolga454 Sat 28-May-16 23:14:34

I am currently 9 months pregnant with my first child, a baby girl. Last Saturday my fiancé walked out on me and left me pregnant and alone. Since then I've had a lot of anxiety and depression due to my dreams pretty much being shattered from one day to the next. My baby will be here in less than two weeks which gives me hope to keep going but sometimes that's not enough. I do miss him and the worst thing and what makes me the most sad is that NOW 9 months after knowing that I was pregnant and planning a future together and moving in,he says he wants a DNA test and that our baby girl isn't his. How can I overcome this?

SleepyKiwiGirl Sun 29-May-16 19:44:55

Wow that sounds tough. I don't think anyone can tell you how to get over this, unfortunately it will just take time. But don't blame yourself, he sounds very selfish. Of course you will miss him, but in a couple weeks you'll be so busy with your little baby that you won't have time to think about him! Hope you're doing ok xxx

Lopezolga454 Sun 29-May-16 22:49:51

Yeah, soon enough I'll be just fine,til then I just await my precious girl. Every day it gets a little easier.

KatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 30-May-16 11:12:03

We're just going to move this over to the Relationships topic, OP. flowers

SmallBee Mon 30-May-16 11:20:14

Wow I'm so sorry op.

No relationship advice really but have you got someone else to support you in labour and after your DD is born?
I would try and use the time before she comes to work out exactly what you need for the first few weeks of her life and make sure you can arrange it now. If he wants a dna test let him organise it, you don't have anything to prove and you'll be busy loving your gorgeous daughter.

concertplayer Mon 30-May-16 11:27:10

He may be doing the I'm not the daddy thing to try to avoid his
responsibilities. A lot do. But the thing is if he fails to accept
then you can take him to the CSA.

magoria Mon 30-May-16 11:34:33

You will over come this because you have to. In a couple of weeks you will have your precious baby to focus on and be strong for.

Practicalities .

Find a birthing partner you can trust.

Once the baby is born notify him and then contact the replacement for the CSA. You don't have to prove he is the father he had to prove he is not. If he claims it isn't his, he has to do the DNA test which I believe he has to pay for if it confirms he is.

You cannot register him as the father without him there. So don't worry too much about this. It also means he doesn't automatically get PR which helps you to start with.

Give the baby your surname. It makes life so much easier going though life.

He will at some stage probably decide he wants to see his child. You will have to deal with that when it happens. Maybe your parents can be with him for an hour or so occasionally.

Good luck.

cocochanel21 Mon 30-May-16 12:49:44

Same thing happened to me with Dd1. I was 15 at the time. He also said the baby wasn't his. Luckily my family supported me although my parents were devastated at the time.

He never was involved in dd's life or paid any maintenance. When she was about 10 he did make contact but it didn't last long before he was off again.

It's hard to be on your own with a baby but its so rewarding to be able to say you done it on your own.
Take Care

Hurtandconfused2016 Mon 30-May-16 22:51:28

Op please be gentle with your self! You are going to have major lows and highs more lows than anything.
I gave birth 12 weeks ago my ex left me at 32 weeks. It is the hardest thing ever!
Speak to your midwifes to get help and support you will need it.

As for birth get someone else in at labour. Once baby is here if he wants to meet her do it on your terms! If he really doesn't want to be with you seeing him hold baby for the first time will break you. Ask a relative to watch over the meet.
Don't let him dictate to you when he sees baby you hold all the cards!

My ex has now not seen our daughter for 9 weeks but sees our ds every week! He wasn't happy with my terms of contact but I suffer from depression and anxiety and when I'm around him it's at its lowest!

Sending you flowers

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