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Sister in law troubles!

(18 Posts)
Pinksx2016 Sat 28-May-16 19:44:50

Hi everyone just wanting to vent! I've been recently been having trouble with my partners brothers ex girlfriend we used to get on a lot as we used to take our children on day trips together all seemed well may I add her child is from a previous relationship but my brother in law took her child on as his own a year ago, soon she become pregnant but at 10 weeks she unfortunately lost her baby everyone was devastated we all supported her the best we could ,me and my partner liked after her child whilst she went through the ordeal..few weeks later she went very distantl towards us we put it down to sister in law feeling a little low she come round again and seemed her usual self it wasn't until a few months later she caused a row between our mother in law how she treats my daughter better than hers I let this go over my head and all was fine but these digs became to happen more often and what ever my child had ,he child would have (sorry that I'm referring the person in question as her I don't want to use names) anyhow I decided it was best to distant my self as this was very upsetting for me we still spoke but kept it casual.i didn't cut her out completely we still spoke every so often or they would pop in from whar I can recall the last time I saw her she brought my daughter some of her daughter's clothes which no longer fit I accepted said thank you as I know they would come in handy for nursery specially with paint (she's 2 coming 3) it come to my attention that she had been slagging me off that she'd given me clothes n etc and she only did so because my daughter looks a tramp whilst im in designer,absoloute crap that' was I called her which ended in a blazing row this was the tipping point for me she just said well If the shoe fits, cut her completely out of my life removed her from social media i just couldn't be dealing with that negativity specially when it's bullshit iv not spoke to the girl since march but she taken time last week to do a status on Facebook stating that im pregnant that I cant afford designer clothes so I can't simply afford another child all her friends jumped on the bandwagon a few other girls I know but have no reason to say the things they had she made me feel like an absolute idiot because she sent my baby 3 dresses it's come from no where some things were really hurtful I broke down as everything plastered over Facebook wasn't true and everyone who saw it might think it is true our child never goes without I'm so heartbroken she's ringing me harassing me that were scruffs,i don't deserve to be pregnant I know this thread is really long but I just don't understand what I could of possibly of done to deserve this I just want to move away where no one knows me sad I had a silent miscarriage may last year so being pregnant this time round we wanted to keep a lid on things when things escalated the way they did my partners brother mentioned I was pregnant and it should be left that's how she knows absolutely gutted ,she rang my mum saying she was an old bag!! That if it wasn't for her your granddaughter would be in rags I just hope everyone sees who she really is before she does the same to themsad

Buttons23 Sat 28-May-16 19:52:50

I really struggled to read your post but I think I got the gist of it.

If your brother's ex had a miscarriage, she may now be struggling to come to terms with your pregnancy hence the awful behaviour. I would just block her on facebook and ignore her completely. Don't get into arguments with her or anything like that, just ignore it completely. Sounds like she is doing it all to get a rise out of you.

People who know you will know there is no truth in what she writes anyway.

Could your brother not have a word with her? and tell her to leave you alone? assuming he still has contact with her for the child.

Buttons23 Sat 28-May-16 19:53:27

Oh sorry just realised its your brother in law's ex not your brother

Pinksx2016 Sat 28-May-16 19:59:31

Sorry it's just really hard to explain they fallen out about three weeks ago from what ive heard, and yes my partners brother believe she could say anything so nasty about a three year old we've had to send him screen shots to to prove this ,it has caused a big rift between the brothers, this started before I found out I was pregnant and my brother in law told her I was pregnant to get her of my case a little bit as I don't need the stress but ended up broadcasting it all over social media when we haven't told anyone ,thank you for your reply and sorry you had difficulty reading this post x

starskey80 Sun 29-May-16 10:22:32

She sounds unhinged..... It sounds like you've done nothing wrong here. She clearly took her miscarriage very hard and is taking it out on you. She has absolutely no right to do this. I don't care what she's been through!!!

Who told you about the crap she was posting?
I don't know how far gone you are but this is stress you don't need. Best ignore the crazy cow and focus on yourself.
Her friends don't sound much better but I'm sure anyone who knows you will know it's all bull.

Congratulations on your pregnancy xxx

Fishface77 Sun 29-May-16 10:33:36

This is harassment call 101 and report.

Pinksx2016 Fri 03-Jun-16 18:06:26

Yes, im not far gone atall hence why I kept my pregnancy quiet but anyway she went ahead and broadcasted it all over Facebook on this status which had about 300 comment some people stating how I think im mother of the year,airing my relationship saying its a sham, most of them were her friends and my friends had sent me the screen shots of what was being said, I suffered from stress and anxiety and went to see my doctor I broke down in the doctors room she was really nice booked me in for a scan as everything was getting on top of me everything seemed well got to go back the 8th as it was to early to see anything but I've deleted Facebook mind is set on my babies,just really stressed me out how she was making me sound on Facebook and people are stupid enough to listen to it but im off there won't be returning on there either, she's kind of one of those very materlistic girls who needs to have money to be happy, or if it isn't on Facebook it never happens type of people which leads her to believe we dont do anything with our child and etc ive been very nice to her and didn't deserve the crap but im feeling abit better now head is held high saw the girls out and about and they had nothing to say ,so just shows really,i think it just boils down to jealousy but I really wouldn't like to say that as she lost her baby and i genuinely cried with her when she had lost her pregnancy was a very tough time for us all as it brought it all back for us what we had gone through xx

Cabrinha Fri 03-Jun-16 18:28:58

She sounds horrible and very childish. All the insults on Facebook make her sound like a teenager!

You've done the right thing moving off that.

I would totally ignore her and just wait for it all to fade away when she finds a new target. She's your BIL's ex now, and her child isn't his. She's nothing to you, and has no place in your life at all now they've split.

I can see that she might be very jealous of your pregnancy. And honestly, even if you didn't see it there's a fair chance that your MIL did favour her granddaughter over her son's girlfriend's child. You child is a blood relative, and she's know them for 3 years. The girlfriend's daughter she's known for maximum a year. Now that BIL has split up, I doubt MIL has any feeling at all that this girl is her grandchild.

That's no excuse for her nasty Facebook behaviour, but it might help to understand where some of the bitter jealousy might come from.

SandyY2K Fri 03-Jun-16 18:36:50


Using paragraphs would make it easier to read. It's hard to decipher with a whole lot of text together and no breaks.

coco1810 Fri 03-Jun-16 18:54:11

SandyY2k really? Any need for the grammar police? OP iis obviously distressed about the circumstances and needed to vent, I suspect punctuation and grammar are not high on her agenda.

OP, congratulations on your pregnancy flowers! I agree that this is harassment and you really should report it. She sounds unhinged. Good luck 🍀

Pinksx2016 Fri 03-Jun-16 19:28:34

Oh dear im new and it's my first post sorry lol

Cabrinha Fri 03-Jun-16 19:40:13

I didn't think Sandy was being rude - I know some people are, but her tone seemed genuine to me.

OP - it's just much easier to read where there are breaks! So you're more likely to get people reading it all and then being able to sympathise or advise.

If you're not confident with paragraphs just have a rule that you'll put a space between lines every 2 sentences!

Pinksx2016 Fri 03-Jun-16 20:52:19

Okay thank you will try that in future. And no it's absolutely fine would rather be shown how things work.

And thank you all for your kind words and responses xx

icedcherrytea Sat 04-Jun-16 00:05:41

Fuck her and her little fb cronies OP. You just concentrate on your family and baby and your health and just laugh when friends send you silly screen shots. They are all acting like school girls!! Rise well above it and stay well clear.

Enjoy your pregnancy xx

ReySkywalker Sat 04-Jun-16 02:40:16

Her fb friends and her have shown themselves up to be mean spirited and jealous. It's v sad for her that she lost her baby and you seem to have been there for her but it looks like she needs professional help.

Rise above it, by not responding you are already showing you have a lot more dignity and class.

So you don't give your daughter designer clothes? She's far better off with the manners and kindness you're modelling for her

Pinksx2016 Sat 04-Jun-16 09:39:48

Well I kinda guessed she was a little jealous of my daughter and she's only three! Some of things she had said were awful.

She also said that I do nothing but sit at home all day cleaning my shitty house I don't work but she does as she's forever pointing that out lol my partner works whilst I get to stay at home with my daughter which is great I love being in my shitty home spending time with my girl. She has a lot to say about my life .

Thing is after saying this it wasn't a problem when I babysat for her or the kids would play and id cook them tea when they come round ,her relationship is over between herself and my brother in law so she really has got a nerv to judge mine.

I forgot to mention she then started inboxing my family members talking crap to make them all turn there backs on me but they all know what she is ,my mum even said to be careful as there isnt something quite right with her meaning she looked abit sly which I chose to take no notice ,I wished i had now!!

She rang my mums landline saying I dont look after her and that my mum has my daughter 3 times a week which is not far wrong she goes for tea on Wednesday and sometimes goes down the caravan over night so me and my partner get abit of time together I don't understand why it's always a bad thing when you have support plus she's with the woman who raised me so I know she's absolutely fine

She phoned my partner calling me a bag and that I wouldn't be surprised if she's slept about absolutely untrue partner thinks she's full of shit anyway he told her where to go and if she had anything to say to knock our door so we was kind of expecting her to come for a few days but never come ,suppose people only have these big egos over Facebook x

OurBlanche Sat 04-Jun-16 10:30:45

Block, unfriend, ignore.

If she phones, emails, contacts you/your mum etc, keep a log and, when you just can't put up with it any more, call 101 and ask them to tell her to top stalking/harrassing you.

But mostly, stop reading/listening/taking any notice. Anyone who knows you can say "Stop! You are being ridiculous" they don't have to listen to her at all!

IWILLgiveupsugar Sat 04-Jun-16 10:37:58

Keep the screen shots of abusive messages - these are your evidence if you decide to go to the police about her harrassment. I think you should. The police need to have a word with her. It isn't fair that she is making you feel like this.

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